I love this town

Overheard as I walked past the Stevenage DSS office; a bloke on his mobile phone having a heated conversation with someone.
"...Why are you hurting me, darlin'? I don't understand why you're hurting me like this! I don't want to hurt you back, 'cos the only way I know to hurt people is wiv violence! I luv you darlin'! Don't make me hurt you back..."

I've added a Tommy Gun to my Birthday wishlist.