day of the Triffids - Inspired by a conversation with twicedead

[davywavy]

Oh no! It's the end of civilisation! The Triffids have risen up and overrun the earth and the necrophagic vegetables are devouring people like it's going out of fashion. You are one of the lucky ones. You are holed up in a safe location with large stocks of food and weaponry and as safe from the Triffids as can be.
One day, a survivor shows up at your stockade and through the kindness of your heart you take him in to protect him from said carniverous cucumbers. However, it quickly turns out that this survivor is a wrong 'un and he's not changing his ways, either - not only does he sneer and spit and call you names, but he also beats up and molests your missus and steals some of your valuable food supplies and clean water. What do you do?

[Poll #730506]

Comments

[angusabranson.livejournal.com]

In the case above the safest thing for your own survival would be to 'pop a cap in his head'. Otherwise he could come back and haunt you at a later date and with only limited supplies and no real back-up you want to minimise any chance of something/anything coming back to cause you further problems later on.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

That's my thinking. Kill the motherfucker lest he lurk about and gain triffidy powers.

Plus it would be a big laugh.

JmC
I'd beat him to death with a chair

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

pop a cap in both his legs, then he in't dead but can't come after you either.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Nonsense. Don't you watch films? Triffidy powers, says I! He'll crawl his way back to cause trouble. Chop him into little bits then strike a deal with the Triffids with him as top grade fertiliser.

JmC
An IRA plant

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

euuwwww

I feel unclean now

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure you have the neccesary brutality for this new plant-infested world. Go watch Van Damm & Woody Allen movies interspersed with Jackass episodes to give you the right level of contempt for bits of humanity.

JmC
"Woody" Allen, eh? Sounds Triffid to me...

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I can't watch Jackass, it makes me feel ill

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

I feel the same about Woody Allen.

Looks like you have to leave the killing and morally shady dealings to those of us in the "Pop a cap" camp. You can set up the new system of Goverment in the meantime. That or cook.

JmC
Jamesass

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I'll cook

well provided I don't have to cook any human body parts anyway.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Deal.
(Human flesh tastes better raw anyway)

JmC
I also cook


PS. Added you to my Friends list. Seems only fair if you're gonna cook!

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I thought I had already replied to this, how odd

friended you back, you may have noticed by all the tat appearing on your friend's page :)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Triffids are radioactive, you know.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Fine. Stick him next to a mobile phone mast for 2 hours before you offer him up to the planty monsters.

Do I have to think of everything in this new world?

JmC
Triflid

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Nah - if they're radioactive and they bite, he will gain strange, triffid-like powers.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

If we chop him up good first strange, triffid-like powers will avail him naught!

JmC
Does whatever a stomped on spider can

[angusabranson.livejournal.com]

That's just torturing him. A quick death is better - even if he does deserve to hurt more.

By popping a cap in his legs and then throwing him out he's as good as dead. He certainly won't be able to out run the Triffids so you're just leaving him to sweat out his final hours/minutes until the inevitable happens.

Also, apart from it being more humanitarian to kill him quickly, if you did pop his knees there is always the chance he 'might' survive and then come back looking for revenege.

No. A quick clean kill. Too many people (most notably James Bond Villains) have made the mistake of not just doing the job straight and allowing the person to come back and ruin their plans/survival.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I wasn't going to throw him out, just make him immobile and keep him in the safe house.