day of the Triffids - Inspired by a conversation with twicedead

[davywavy]

Oh no! It's the end of civilisation! The Triffids have risen up and overrun the earth and the necrophagic vegetables are devouring people like it's going out of fashion. You are one of the lucky ones. You are holed up in a safe location with large stocks of food and weaponry and as safe from the Triffids as can be.
One day, a survivor shows up at your stockade and through the kindness of your heart you take him in to protect him from said carniverous cucumbers. However, it quickly turns out that this survivor is a wrong 'un and he's not changing his ways, either - not only does he sneer and spit and call you names, but he also beats up and molests your missus and steals some of your valuable food supplies and clean water. What do you do?

[Poll #730506]

Comments

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Nonsense. Don't you watch films? Triffidy powers, says I! He'll crawl his way back to cause trouble. Chop him into little bits then strike a deal with the Triffids with him as top grade fertiliser.

JmC
An IRA plant

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

euuwwww

I feel unclean now

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure you have the neccesary brutality for this new plant-infested world. Go watch Van Damm & Woody Allen movies interspersed with Jackass episodes to give you the right level of contempt for bits of humanity.

JmC
"Woody" Allen, eh? Sounds Triffid to me...

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I can't watch Jackass, it makes me feel ill

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

I feel the same about Woody Allen.

Looks like you have to leave the killing and morally shady dealings to those of us in the "Pop a cap" camp. You can set up the new system of Goverment in the meantime. That or cook.

JmC
Jamesass

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I'll cook

well provided I don't have to cook any human body parts anyway.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Deal.
(Human flesh tastes better raw anyway)

JmC
I also cook


PS. Added you to my Friends list. Seems only fair if you're gonna cook!

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I thought I had already replied to this, how odd

friended you back, you may have noticed by all the tat appearing on your friend's page :)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Triffids are radioactive, you know.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Fine. Stick him next to a mobile phone mast for 2 hours before you offer him up to the planty monsters.

Do I have to think of everything in this new world?

JmC
Triflid

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Nah - if they're radioactive and they bite, he will gain strange, triffid-like powers.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

If we chop him up good first strange, triffid-like powers will avail him naught!

JmC
Does whatever a stomped on spider can