A disturbing and unsettling post.

[davywavy]

Something that I think preys upon everybodys mind from time to time is the prospect of the collapse of western civilisation and the catastrophe that would ensue. Electricity would cut off, food would not reach the markets, rioting would happen in the streets. For some, this prospect is the happy subject of macho survivalist fantasies involving a cave in the Appalachians and 10,000 tins of spam. For others, it's a subject of morbid fear. For me, however, it's the subject of a profound intellectual question: if faced with starvation, which of my friends would I eat first?

I'm trying to start a meme here, if you hadn't guessed. Let us pretend for a moment that - heaven forfend! - western civilisation has collapsed for whatever reason, and to survive you must devour someone on your friends list. Who would it be? But the question isn't that simple. It's easy to pick someone off the list and say, "Oh, he's the fattest, he'd keep me going for ages!", or "Well, she wouldn't offer anything to the reconstruction of society, so chow down!" But we want to maintain a few little luxuries after the apocalyse, don't we? So let's ask a different question. Which of your friends, based upon their lifestyle, do you think would taste the nicest? Does someone have a diet rich in fruit for instance? Or does someone look nice and tender and juicy? These are all criteria to consider.

Personally, my choice for the pot would be ukmonty. His flesh has been steeped in a high alcohol red wine marinade over many years, and he also comes pre-smoked, meaning he'd last a long time even after the lack of electricity meant the freezer died. Coupled with his exercise-free lifestyle, he should be nice and tender too. Yum yum!

So that's todays question. Pick someone from your friends list and explain why they'd be first in the pot when the revolution comes.

I've invited Monty for dinner on Tuesday next. I hope he brings the fava beans.

Comments

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

Good question...hmm...need to think on this one...

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

You want healthy vegetarians. Corn fed is better.

I on the other hand smear my body in toxic and slightly mutagenic chemicals each day...

[vampwillow]

Well, I'll have to think carefully about the 'who' factor, but I will strongly agree that vegetarians taste better when, um, doing 'stuff' (::gets all coy::)

There is also the matter of whether I could start a fire (to cook them) or would have to eat them raw, in which case younger would probably be nice and tender as opposed to the piece of old string that ^H^H^H^H^H^H would taste like ;-)

I was involved with a comedy show some years ago about having to eat someone to survive ('Thirtysomehow' on Ed Fringe which transferred to C4 as a play)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I've been told that red meat makes sperm bitter, and lots of sugar makes it sweet, but I've never made an in-depth investigation myself.

my solution

[fire-kitten.livejournal.com]

is going to be eat the person geographically closest, as I don't want to have to wait too long for dinner.

But you definitely do want to eat young tender vegetarians - carnivores just taste bad...

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Theres something I could say here, but I won't.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

After consideration I think probably kinkykay would have to be for the stewpot, young, tender vegetarian and all that. :)

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

and you can have a rabbit as side dish. ;o)

[davedevil.livejournal.com]

see I think rik woudl be a good choice for similar reaosns, he's been soaked in real ale for along time, he's a bit hairy, but so are bigs and thet gets liek cracklign when it cooks..

he's also quite a good cook, so would brign along the side dishes

so I think eat Sowden!

[omentide.livejournal.com]

Cinammon.

Hmm...

[applez.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, I'd probably taste best, as a vegetarian, who is also overweight. It is meat-eating that gives carnivorous meat it's strongest taste.

I did bring up one thing though...

[applez.livejournal.com]

Given obesity rates, most survivors wouldn't need to worry about food for a very long time, actually.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

The spice or the character?

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

Damn, i cannot fault your logic... Might i suggest some nice mash, or fried potatoes with some spices in for flavour, perhaps some rice if you want S&S Sowden...