davywavy: (Default)
davywavy ([personal profile] davywavy) wrote2004-04-06 10:41 am

London vignettes

1. Standing at the bar, talking about military history and the Gurkhas with [livejournal.com profile] ukmonty and Charles, when a sharp faced drunk man standing next to us turns to us.
Him: “Are yez Navy?”
Me: “No, no, not us.”
Him “Which are yez? Merchant or Fleet?”
Me: “We’re not in the navy”
Him: “Are yez Marines, then?”
Monty: “The Marines are navy.”
Him: “Then yez are Navy.”
Monty: No, we’re nothing to do with that side of the forces.” (Oh, like he didn’t know this was a leading answer.)
Him: “Are yez spies then?”
Me: *Laughs*

2. Walking down the street with sister when a (different) drunk bloke stumbles against me before whirling round, waving the bottle he has in his hand, and shouting that he’s going to ‘Fukin’ cut you with this’. Naturally, what I notice is the bottle in his hand and the threat; blood rushes from my brain to muscles as my instinctive reaction of ‘flight or flight’ kicks in.*
What sister hears is the swearing, and proceeds to angrily remonstrate with him over swearing in the street. I have to drag her away, realising that if the drunk man with the bottle gets violent, it’s me that’s going to have to trade punches and not her.

3. I thought that wearing a shellsuit precluded one from being camp. What I immediately took to be a pair of chavs on the train turned out to be the most astonishingly camp gay couple I’ve seen in a while. Very witty and very friendly. Once again my prejudices take a battering.

4. The most beautiful girl I’ve seen in a very long while works in the Bombay Bicycle Club on the Queenstown Road. You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. She possessed of the classical Indian Beauty to the degree where you genuinely cannot help but stare in astonishment at her, amazed that people who look so good actually exist – normally you would only see anyone looking like that on a poster or the screen. If she had been born two hundred years ago they would have carved her face on a temple and she would have danced for the Maharaja. As it is she works in a curry house in Battersea.

*The best case scenaoria is that I get to beat up a drunk bloke. The worst is that I get stabbed with a broken bottle. It's not a win/win situation.

[identity profile] robinbloke.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
‘flight or flight’ kicks in.*

Flight of course should be started by pointing behind them and shouting "Look the good year blimp!" then legging it.

[identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Well if I hadn't had to try and drag sister away, I'd've been over the event horizon before he'd known what hadn't hit him.

[identity profile] robinbloke.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
Well she was simply there to observe the principal that you don't need to outrun your attacker, just your slowest companion.

Heresy!

[identity profile] ukporl.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Woah, woah, woah there!

A gay couple? Wearing shellsuits?

No, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

It's quite clearly against God's will and I'll have no part of it.
Carry on like that and before you know it we'll end up regressing so far we'll look like the cast of "Abigail's Party".

*Shudder*

Re: Heresy!

[identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
Well, exactly. I thought that all you gay chaps had the finest sartorial elegance, as evidenced in Will & Grace or perhaps your own fine example.

Re: Heresy!

[identity profile] ukporl.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
Do you know how long I paused in terror before clicking on that link? I'm glad it was that picture...

Re: Heresy!

[identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Sadly, I couldn't find any of you in the silver jumpsuit.

I have some on CD at home, though.

Re: Heresy!

[identity profile] karohemd.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
I thought I had one from the same National. I really must sort through my old photos and redo the pages at one point...

Petie en argent

[identity profile] ukporl.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
Oh god no.

Can you not post my gaydar pix instead? They're less embarrassing...

Re: Petie en argent

[identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
How does that song go? Pretty.......

Re: Petie en argent

[identity profile] crocodilewings.livejournal.com 2004-04-09 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
...fly for a white guy?

Re: Petie en argent

[identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 07:10 am (UTC)(link)
They're less embarrassing...

And why would I post them, then?

Re: Petie en argent

[identity profile] sesquipedality.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 09:32 am (UTC)(link)
I'll give you 50p if you do.

hmmm...

[identity profile] applez.livejournal.com 2004-04-06 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
If she had been born two hundred years ago they would have carved her face on a temple and she would have danced for the Maharaja. As it is she works in a curry house in Battersea.

Once again proving that the sci-fi utopia often pictured in film & print of gorgeous people doing the most mundane things will be bourne out. ;-)