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How to write an LJ post like ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
grimjim
May. 23rd, 2002 09:03 amIn line with puddingcat's "in the style of" idea...
Step 1: Start with an intemperate comment about something that you don’t specify. It may help if you use a rude word at this stage:
Example: “Well, I see the Bullshit has started again”
Step 2: Complain against fate:
Example: “Why does this always happen to me?”
Step 3: Identify people by their initials. It will make them immediately identifiable, but it allows you to hide behind the claim that you’re not really identifying them:
Example: "As usual it’s XQB and ZFJ screwing about again."
Step 4: If people disagree with you, criticise their intelligence – or suggest they’re on drugs. You are advised to ignore the possibility that other people may have different opinions to yourself or see the world differently from you for perfectly legitimate reasons:
Example: "The only possible explanation for them coming up with this one is that they’re whacked up on space dust, the morons."
Step 4a: Alternatively suggest people are motivated solely by spite, and that they actually have nothing better to do with their lives:
Example: "Of course, they’re only doing this because they hate me."
Step 5: Make a non-specific threat that you’ll never actually carry out. Try swearing again at this point; there’s nothing like a few naughty words to fill up space:
Example: "Well, if those fuckers think that I’ll stand for this they’ve got another think coming."
Step 6: Make a revolutionary prediction:
Example: "Things are going to change around here, and they’ll be the first against the wall"
Step 7: Sit back and wait for the comments asking what you’re talking about. Well done! You’ve made an intemperate and aggressive statement, and got lots of attention for it. Mission Accomplished!
puddingcat's "in the style of" idea...Step 1: Start with an intemperate comment about something that you don’t specify. It may help if you use a rude word at this stage:
Example: “Well, I see the Bullshit has started again”
Step 2: Complain against fate:
Example: “Why does this always happen to me?”
Step 3: Identify people by their initials. It will make them immediately identifiable, but it allows you to hide behind the claim that you’re not really identifying them:
Example: "As usual it’s XQB and ZFJ screwing about again."
Step 4: If people disagree with you, criticise their intelligence – or suggest they’re on drugs. You are advised to ignore the possibility that other people may have different opinions to yourself or see the world differently from you for perfectly legitimate reasons:
Example: "The only possible explanation for them coming up with this one is that they’re whacked up on space dust, the morons."
Step 4a: Alternatively suggest people are motivated solely by spite, and that they actually have nothing better to do with their lives:
Example: "Of course, they’re only doing this because they hate me."
Step 5: Make a non-specific threat that you’ll never actually carry out. Try swearing again at this point; there’s nothing like a few naughty words to fill up space:
Example: "Well, if those fuckers think that I’ll stand for this they’ve got another think coming."
Step 6: Make a revolutionary prediction:
Example: "Things are going to change around here, and they’ll be the first against the wall"
Step 7: Sit back and wait for the comments asking what you’re talking about. Well done! You’ve made an intemperate and aggressive statement, and got lots of attention for it. Mission Accomplished!
