I went to a marvellous Elysium...

With approriate apologies to Noel Coward

I went to a marvellous Elysium
I acted on lust and desire
I was very impressed
By a girl who was dressed
In what looked like an old tractor tyre.

The Ten O’clock monster, it seemed to be late
The Tremere huddled round, muttering “Demon” and “Gate”
And the ST regarded travelling players with hate

I couldn’t have liked it more.

I went to a marvellous Elysium,
Marc Torley had failed to appear.
A cuckolded spouse
Had gone to his house
To end his philandering career.

But then Mark arrived with his shoes on his knees
And was beaten quite senseless in spite of his pleas.
And as he lay bleeding, Monty bantered; “Hard Cheese”

I couldn’t have liked it more.