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A wiser person than me once said...
Aug. 25th, 2002 05:31 pmI used to have a friend called Debby, who was someone far wiser then me. I think it's a great shame I lost touch with her, as she was significantly more grounded and sensible (but still fantastic to go to parties with) than I was, certainly at the time.
One day I was talking to her, bitching about something or other (probably female, it usually was back then), and I came out with the standard refrain of the incessant whinger: "Why does this always happen to me!?"
She looked at me for a long moment, and replied "If the same thing keeps happening to you, or if there's a pattern in your life, the only thing that remains constant is you."
I'd regard that as a life changing moment for me; that realisation that when similar situations kept cropping up in my life, the only consistent feature of those situations was *me*. All the other things - people, context, etc, changed. I was what was creating the patterns, nothing else.
This is why it now winds me up to hear people uttering that self-same refrain of "Why does this keep happening to me?". You hear it a lot - the number of people blaming the continuous crap that befalls them on anything but themselves.
So, the David public advice service would like to share with you all the advise that a wise and intelligent woman once shared with me: If there is a pattern of failure, or unhappiness, or making enemies, or whatever else you may not happen to dislike in your life, the first place you should look for cause is inside, not out - as that is where you are most likely to find the culprit for creating this pattern.
Everyone has crap happen to them. What doesn't happen is that people have the same things *repeatedly* happen to them - unless they themselves create the circumstances under which that crap will happen.
Have a nice day, all, and recognise yourself as the person who creates the situation of your life, not other people. Take control, and when next time "it" happens to you again, just change it - because you, and only you, can.
One day I was talking to her, bitching about something or other (probably female, it usually was back then), and I came out with the standard refrain of the incessant whinger: "Why does this always happen to me!?"
She looked at me for a long moment, and replied "If the same thing keeps happening to you, or if there's a pattern in your life, the only thing that remains constant is you."
I'd regard that as a life changing moment for me; that realisation that when similar situations kept cropping up in my life, the only consistent feature of those situations was *me*. All the other things - people, context, etc, changed. I was what was creating the patterns, nothing else.
This is why it now winds me up to hear people uttering that self-same refrain of "Why does this keep happening to me?". You hear it a lot - the number of people blaming the continuous crap that befalls them on anything but themselves.
So, the David public advice service would like to share with you all the advise that a wise and intelligent woman once shared with me: If there is a pattern of failure, or unhappiness, or making enemies, or whatever else you may not happen to dislike in your life, the first place you should look for cause is inside, not out - as that is where you are most likely to find the culprit for creating this pattern.
Everyone has crap happen to them. What doesn't happen is that people have the same things *repeatedly* happen to them - unless they themselves create the circumstances under which that crap will happen.
Have a nice day, all, and recognise yourself as the person who creates the situation of your life, not other people. Take control, and when next time "it" happens to you again, just change it - because you, and only you, can.
