If you give a man a fish...

...he will eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he will wreck the environment.

Me talking to client:

Client: "I can see that you're trying to knock your competitor off the number one spot"
Me: "I reckon we've already done it, but it's like dealing with a Brontosaurus - you smack it down and it takes the arse end half an hour to notice."

It's rare I enjoy my job :)