Good Advice?

I don't know if you've ever heard this little bit of pithy advice:

Dance like nobody is watching
Love like you've never been hurt
Work like you don't need the money

It's an inexplicably popular little mantra because, like most attempts to sum up a philosophy of life in a few lines, it can't possibly succeed. At least one of the lines is self evidently stupid: in terms of advice you shouldn't take, "Work like you don't need the money" ranks up there with "Chop vegetables like you don't need fingers" - if I didn't need the money then I wouldn't be working,duh.
Imagine my first day in the job where I didn't need the money:
David; "Morning, losers!" (skims boss's toupee off his head with an insouciant flick. It skims across the room and catches neatly on the hatstand.
Boss (turning purple) "And what sort of time do you call this, Wade? It's nearly ten to eleven. I hope you've got a good excuse."
David: "Screw you, baldy. I've just won the National Lottery."
This is not going to lead to rapid upward career progression.

And as for "Love like you've never been hurt", it sounds like a wild, uninhibited piece of life advice but applied to reality could lead to all kinds of problems ("Yeah, I know Darren used to knock me abaht, but Wayne is a real gentleman, like. He sez that if he can't have me, nobody can. Isn't that just so romantic?").

Now as far as I know, advertising does not usually impinge on me at a conscious level, but strolling home at about 4am on Saturday morning with nothing else to think about I noticed that Bacardi Rum is using this in it's current poster campaign, with pictures of people dancing like nobody is watching or loving like they've never been hurt whilst living the Bacardi lifestyle. I really had to laugh. Encouraging people to act irresponsibly whilst under the influence of booze makes for an attractive and exciting advertising campaign, but I'm not sure it's really all that ethical. In that light I'd like to present a few more lines that Bacardi might use, based upon the way people usually act when they've had a few too many:

Drink like you've never tasted alcohol
Smoke like they're good for you
Make Love like you've never heard of contraception
Drive like you've never had a lesson
Talk to girls like you've never seen breasts

One could extend the advice to other spheres of life, too.
Jog like you don't have a heart condition.
Scratch yourself like nobody's looking.

When you think about it they're just as sensible long-term lifestyle plans as the originals and, unlike the first, they don't pretend to be deep, meaningful, or anything else that they're not.

My Weekend.

You know a pub is going to be trouble when there is a Hearse parked outside.

After a work leaving bash which I managed to sneak out of early, I headed to the Electric Ballroom for the first time since 1999(!) to meet up with robinbloke and faerierhona. I got there early so had the exquisite joy of queuing in the cold, but this was tempered slightly by the very, very fat man wearing a 'Stop looking at my tits' t-shirt wandering past - which made me smile.
Inside I strutted my funky stuff for a few hours and was introduced to someone I assume from comments made was duranorak, but I may be wrong so apologies if I am. By 1:30-2am my ankles were starting to go, and so Rhona and I spent the last hour criticising other peoples dress sense and letching at the passing trade:
("She's not 'alf bad"
"Really? Not my type at all"
"Well, I wouldn't climb over her to get to you"
"You'll never get the opportunity")
This is the odd thing about Rhona and I; our lifestyles and personal philosophies are divergent to the point of opposition, but we actually get on astonishingly well. I think we're united in bitching.
The nice thing that I noticed about the Ballroom that has changed since I went there last is the huge decline in overt drug use. I assume that it still goes on, but nobody seemed to flaunt it any more; which is positive, not least because it meant I didn't have an urge to punch any druggies in the face all night.

Getting home at 4am should have meant a long lie in, but instead ukmonty spitefully rang me at 10 to drag me out food shopping at Borough market, where I shambled round like a zombie, stuffing Smoothies and Venison burgers into my gob in a vague attempt to replenish myself. Then off to London 'ling, which was good fun and woke me up, and which also seemed to involve me spending a disproportionate amount of time in the lavatory with men dressed in leather. Looking around the stained toilets I wryly observed to Monty that I bet he'd never imagined fairyland to be like this, but as it turned out, he had.

Still feeling not up to late gaming, I went for a swift pint with Monty and the female half of jessandcraig, who made me laugh out loud by telling me that she was going to mend my computer within the next 24 hours. As I last heard that line over a month ago I wasn't inclined to take it too seriously, and oh, how my sides ached.

Sunday involved a long walk in the country to clear out my lungs/brain/knees/ankles followed by a relatively early night. Weekends ho!