Interrogation...

Responding to a post I made back in the pre-Cambrian Era, arralethe has decided to interview me. A bit like Michael Parkinson, but with bigger tits.

1) The Government announces there is to be another "Great Exhibition", akin to the one in 1851, and rather surprisingly, offers you a stall. What are you going to be showing off as a marvel of the modern age (and please note, you can't say yourself)?

Gosh, several possibilities. The Birth Control Pill is my favourite answer for 'most influential invention of the 20th century', but it was a while ago, so possibly a bit out of date. Normall I would say 'myself to a question like this, but I can't.
Overall, I might be tempted to say 'google', because of all the ways to use the net it makes the information contained thereon the most accessible and so qualifies as a wonder of the age in my book.


2) What one thing in all the world is guaranteed to make you laugh, and why?

A child or a fat person falling over. Why? Why do you think?


3) If roleplaying hadn't ever been invented, how would your life be different?

Well, I would have had to find something different to do pretty much every Saturday since my 7th birthday. Like most teenagers I would have hung about the bus shelter smoking and getting into trouble. Presumably from there, my life would have spiralled into a decline of drugs, booze, petty crime and squalid sexual encounters. I would have been arrested and been made use of sexually by Mr Big in the Prison showers. Coming out of prison I would be a hardened criminal, and I would ahve knocked over several banks before being caught and sent back to jail for longer. Eventually I would have been killed in a prison brawl sparked by someone stealing my snout.

4) Sum up your life philosophy in 5 words or less.

To do is to be.

5) "When I'm 64!" You'll be what, where and with whom?

I'll have finally got round to building a time machine, and be back in 1967 continuing a passionate affair with the young Diana Rigg.