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Bloody Foreigners
Jul. 8th, 2005 11:03 amBack in October 2001 I went to Burbank, California. This involved an internal flight from LA to Burbank and as we boarded the tinny little plane the pilot came on the intercom and thanked us, in the light of recent events, for being brave enough to fly.
"Huh", I muttered to my companion. "The IRA have been bombing London for years, and nobody has ever thanked me for being brave enough to use the tube."
Anyway.
Yesterday morning began like any other day in Davy Towers. I rose with the dawn, springing forth from my bed like a young gazelle, filled to the brim with the joy of another day sat in my office. As usual, I crossed London, and passed through Kings Cross.
About fifteen minutes before someone bombed the tube, as it happens.
There's nothing too amazing about that, in real terms. About 200,000 people can say exactly the same thing at that time in the morning and I'll bet everyone who lives in London has a story which is similar. I didn't give it much thought at the time - but it is the sort of thing that you dwell upon over time, you know?
Still, I don't seem very dead, but I hear that thirty-seven other people are. However, things already seem to have returned pretty much to normal - the most obvious after-effect for most people is that their commute is going to be screwed up for a while.
In the midst of that, there's a lesson to be lerned here. This is likely a well-coordinated attack, by a globally linked terrorist organisation. The planning that will have gone into this, timed as it was on the first day of the G8 summit, must have been careful and long in construction. This is the very best they can do, their big statement, thier best shot. There was even a suicide bomber, they say. Well, the best thing about suicide bombers it they're hardly going to do it twice and they're not exactly a renewable resource. And the end result? They've made a lot of people late for work for a few days. According to Al-Queda, I'm currently 'burning with fear'; they're wrong. I'm not. I'm a bit irritable.
We, as in the Western social and cultural hegemony, can conquer a heavily militarised nation in about two weeks flat. In reply to this our greatest enemy, the ones being demonised in the 'War on terror', can make us late for work for a bit.
They aren't a credible foe. They've already lost. We don't need a 'War on terror' to defeat these people - at most, we need a 'bit of a kicking on terror'. These people don't need a war against them. They need an ASBO.
In fact, I'm rather taken with that idea. Instead of 'War on terror', let's have an 'ASBO on terror'. It's likely to be just as effective, and a great deal funnier.
There are all kinds of theories going round the 'net about what was the cause of all of this; people blaming the invasion of Iraq, US foreign policy in the 1980s blah blah blah. If you take that to its logical extreme, you have to blame US foreign policy in the 80's on Soviet policy in the 70's, which was a reaction to US policy in he 60's, responding to Soviet and Chinese policy in the 50's and so on ad infinitum.
The real cause is that a bunch of dolts who haven't figured out yet the beards don't get the girls and think that female circumcision is just right for the 21st century reckon they'll get more girls in the next life than this one. Well, I suppose in that assumption they're about half right.
Of course, Tony Blair will seize upon this like Jenna Jameson seizing upon an engorged...um, well, he's going to seize on this very enthusiastically to back up his calls for ID cards. Like ID cards are going to have the words 'Suicide Bomber' stencilled on them so the authorities will know who they shouldn't be letting on the bus. Eroding civil liberties from a stance on the backs of the dead just pisses me off.
Still, I'll be pootling off home tonight, and I'll be getting the tube. I don't expect anyone to congratulate me for my bravery though.
"Huh", I muttered to my companion. "The IRA have been bombing London for years, and nobody has ever thanked me for being brave enough to use the tube."
Anyway.
Yesterday morning began like any other day in Davy Towers. I rose with the dawn, springing forth from my bed like a young gazelle, filled to the brim with the joy of another day sat in my office. As usual, I crossed London, and passed through Kings Cross.
About fifteen minutes before someone bombed the tube, as it happens.
There's nothing too amazing about that, in real terms. About 200,000 people can say exactly the same thing at that time in the morning and I'll bet everyone who lives in London has a story which is similar. I didn't give it much thought at the time - but it is the sort of thing that you dwell upon over time, you know?
Still, I don't seem very dead, but I hear that thirty-seven other people are. However, things already seem to have returned pretty much to normal - the most obvious after-effect for most people is that their commute is going to be screwed up for a while.
In the midst of that, there's a lesson to be lerned here. This is likely a well-coordinated attack, by a globally linked terrorist organisation. The planning that will have gone into this, timed as it was on the first day of the G8 summit, must have been careful and long in construction. This is the very best they can do, their big statement, thier best shot. There was even a suicide bomber, they say. Well, the best thing about suicide bombers it they're hardly going to do it twice and they're not exactly a renewable resource. And the end result? They've made a lot of people late for work for a few days. According to Al-Queda, I'm currently 'burning with fear'; they're wrong. I'm not. I'm a bit irritable.
We, as in the Western social and cultural hegemony, can conquer a heavily militarised nation in about two weeks flat. In reply to this our greatest enemy, the ones being demonised in the 'War on terror', can make us late for work for a bit.
They aren't a credible foe. They've already lost. We don't need a 'War on terror' to defeat these people - at most, we need a 'bit of a kicking on terror'. These people don't need a war against them. They need an ASBO.
In fact, I'm rather taken with that idea. Instead of 'War on terror', let's have an 'ASBO on terror'. It's likely to be just as effective, and a great deal funnier.
There are all kinds of theories going round the 'net about what was the cause of all of this; people blaming the invasion of Iraq, US foreign policy in the 1980s blah blah blah. If you take that to its logical extreme, you have to blame US foreign policy in the 80's on Soviet policy in the 70's, which was a reaction to US policy in he 60's, responding to Soviet and Chinese policy in the 50's and so on ad infinitum.
The real cause is that a bunch of dolts who haven't figured out yet the beards don't get the girls and think that female circumcision is just right for the 21st century reckon they'll get more girls in the next life than this one. Well, I suppose in that assumption they're about half right.
Of course, Tony Blair will seize upon this like Jenna Jameson seizing upon an engorged...um, well, he's going to seize on this very enthusiastically to back up his calls for ID cards. Like ID cards are going to have the words 'Suicide Bomber' stencilled on them so the authorities will know who they shouldn't be letting on the bus. Eroding civil liberties from a stance on the backs of the dead just pisses me off.
Still, I'll be pootling off home tonight, and I'll be getting the tube. I don't expect anyone to congratulate me for my bravery though.
