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Scientific Study: Results.
Nov. 10th, 2005 10:48 amWell, the results are (mostly) in. If you didn't vote in my poll yesterday, you can still go and do so here.
Some people say that the results of social science experiments aren't "proper" science as it isn't possible to exactly replicate the results in laboratory conditions. To those people I say: get me a bunch of people in a laboratory and free reign without fear of subsequent prosecution and I'll replicate any results you like as many times as I like.
Anyway, my study of yesterday indicated that what most - but interestingly not all - women want is to be loved for themselves and to be treated as an equal and what they want least is the clap, so that's my hopes of a future love life scuppered right there. Interestingly, 73% of women want to be loved for themselves, and 38.5% of women want to be loved for their knockers, which leads to the inescapable statistical conclusion that more than 10% of women just want to be loved for their hooters without any of that old personality nonsense getting in the way.
The things that most women want second most often are fulfilling careers and a damn good seeing to, so there's at least one ambition I can help you out with there, ladies.
Whilst only 27% of women want stay at home and be cared for, if you add Jonny Depp into that equation then suddenly 46.2% of you are happy to take that lifestyle choice, and 11.5% of women want to know what I'm doing later - the answer to which, hopefully, is 'being rather busy'. Ding-Dong.
Overall, my results indicate that for most of my female readership, the perfect man is a Jonny Depp lookalike with an account at Thorntons, who owns a fast car full of money which he will use to drive you to interesting and exciting new places whilst periodically stopping off to roger you silly over the bonnet and then give you a job. Respectfully, of course.
Have I missed anything?
Some people say that the results of social science experiments aren't "proper" science as it isn't possible to exactly replicate the results in laboratory conditions. To those people I say: get me a bunch of people in a laboratory and free reign without fear of subsequent prosecution and I'll replicate any results you like as many times as I like.
Anyway, my study of yesterday indicated that what most - but interestingly not all - women want is to be loved for themselves and to be treated as an equal and what they want least is the clap, so that's my hopes of a future love life scuppered right there. Interestingly, 73% of women want to be loved for themselves, and 38.5% of women want to be loved for their knockers, which leads to the inescapable statistical conclusion that more than 10% of women just want to be loved for their hooters without any of that old personality nonsense getting in the way.
The things that most women want second most often are fulfilling careers and a damn good seeing to, so there's at least one ambition I can help you out with there, ladies.
Whilst only 27% of women want stay at home and be cared for, if you add Jonny Depp into that equation then suddenly 46.2% of you are happy to take that lifestyle choice, and 11.5% of women want to know what I'm doing later - the answer to which, hopefully, is 'being rather busy'. Ding-Dong.
Overall, my results indicate that for most of my female readership, the perfect man is a Jonny Depp lookalike with an account at Thorntons, who owns a fast car full of money which he will use to drive you to interesting and exciting new places whilst periodically stopping off to roger you silly over the bonnet and then give you a job. Respectfully, of course.
Have I missed anything?
