Jan. 17th, 2006

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In a fit of temporary insanity brought on by trace chemicals in takeaway food I recently bought Age of Empires 3. AOE 1 and 2 were both great games; 1 was groundbreaking but limited, and 2 was just plain great.
One of the greatest pleasures in both games were the historical campaigns; in 1 I could follow Alexander's campaigns or help Rome rise. In 2, I could crusade against the heathens as Barbarossa or fight off the infidels as Saladin. Both games stuck their campaigns firmly within history and this grounding added a considerable amount to the enjoyment of the game.

Playing the AOE 3 historical campaigns, I'm astonished to learn that not only did the Crusaders fight the Ottoman Turks for control of the Fountain of Youth in Florida, but that the American Revolution was triggered by the British launching unprovoked attacks on their own colonies at the behest of the Illuminati.
I can't wait for the next campaign, in which I assume Pocahontas must retrieve the Holy Grail stolen by Queen Victoria.

Ah, history. It's nothing like it.

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