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Aug. 31st, 2007 09:41 amSeveral years ago, my sister and I (for reasons I forget) set out to write our own novels. My sister finished hers, but I got about six chapters into mine before I realised that my fortune lay in my looks rather than my brain.
I was reminded of this yesrday when I learned about the Bulwer-Lytton prize for bad literature.
If you haven't heard of Bulwer-Lytton, he was a minor light in the pre-Raphaelite movement and an author whose primary claim to fame was that he wrote the first novel to open with the words "It was a dark and stormy night..."
The prize was created in his memory. To quote their own PR: Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.
As it's Friday and my magazine went to press yesterday so I've got more time on my hands, today I'll run a competition based on this on my LJ. I challenge you to write the worst possible opening line to a novel of a given genre. To start you off, here's a few of mine:
Fantasy
One night, Elamandir, an elven theif, Krognor, a half-orc barbarian, Rastan, a Dwarven priest and Magellan, a human mage were sitting in the tavern when a dark stranger clad in robes of the purest sable night came up and said "Excuse me, are you adventurers?"
Romance
It is a truth universally acknowleded, that a single man in possession of a fiery temper but boundless charity, pectorals you could bounce rocks off, hair that would put Fabio to shame and a good fortune is probably gay.
Popular Science
As everyone knows, the Earth is only a little more than six thousand years old.
I was reminded of this yesrday when I learned about the Bulwer-Lytton prize for bad literature.
If you haven't heard of Bulwer-Lytton, he was a minor light in the pre-Raphaelite movement and an author whose primary claim to fame was that he wrote the first novel to open with the words "It was a dark and stormy night..."
The prize was created in his memory. To quote their own PR: Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.
As it's Friday and my magazine went to press yesterday so I've got more time on my hands, today I'll run a competition based on this on my LJ. I challenge you to write the worst possible opening line to a novel of a given genre. To start you off, here's a few of mine:
Fantasy
One night, Elamandir, an elven theif, Krognor, a half-orc barbarian, Rastan, a Dwarven priest and Magellan, a human mage were sitting in the tavern when a dark stranger clad in robes of the purest sable night came up and said "Excuse me, are you adventurers?"
Romance
It is a truth universally acknowleded, that a single man in possession of a fiery temper but boundless charity, pectorals you could bounce rocks off, hair that would put Fabio to shame and a good fortune is probably gay.
Popular Science
As everyone knows, the Earth is only a little more than six thousand years old.
