Oct. 8th, 2007

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Prime Minister Gordon Brown yesterday ended speculation of a snap Autumn election, stating that he would take the next two years to develop his 'vision' for the country. "I need to develop my vision for this country", he said, "And this will take me some years. Everyone knows I've had no vision up until now and I'll need quite a while to see what I can make up."
Brown went on to say; "When I took over as Prime Minister, I inherited a country which had been grotesquely mismanaged for the better part of a decade. The economy was left in a parlous state by the previous administration. It will take me some years to undo the damage, if ever. Thankfully, I have started taking advice from Margaret Thatcher which hopefully will speed the process."
At time of writing, neither Conservative leader David Cameron nor Liberal Democrat leader Menzies Campbell have offered any comment on the annoucement as reports indicate they have not been able to stop laughing since yesterday.

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