Neologisms

Tubulence: Those waves and ripples set in motion by any disturbance to a fat persons stomach.
Thomas a Beckett: "Ooof, God, I'm having trouble standing and I think my hernia has come back."
Henry II: "Who shall rid me of this tubulent priest?"
Thomas a Beckett: "Mr Kipling doesn't judge me...argh!"

Puvet: Waterproof bedding as used by the incontinent.
"David has lost control of his bowels and so he has to sleep on a rubberised matress with a puvet over him"

Plustitute: An obese hooker
"It was astonishingly degrading! They got him a plustitute for his stag do"