On the perils of staying in cheap hotels

Or, Being a difficult customer in a Premier Inn.

Receptionist: Can I help you?
Me: Yeah...My room. I booked a double, but you've put me into a twin.
Receptionist: Can I take your room number?
Me: (tells)
Receptionist: I see. We didn't have any double rooms left when you checked in. I'm sorry.
Me: But I booked a double because I wanted one. Not a room with two single beds?
Receptionist: Sorry sir, we don't have any.
Me: Then why did you sell me one on your website when you knew there weren't going to be any?
Receptionist: If you look at our terms and conditions, we can elect to change certain aspects of your booking without notice in the event of room shortages?
Me: (Thinks: Like that, is it? Right.) So what happens when I bring back my supple honeyz?
Receptionist: I'm sorry?
Me: How are we all supposed to fit into one single bed?
Receptionist: Our terms state that only two people can stay in a twin or double.
Me: Who said anything about any of them staying? They won't be here above a couple of hours.
Receptionist:...
Me: I can't just ask them all to cram up into one single bed, can I? It'd hardly be fair. Only one of them is a contortionist, after all.
Receptionist: I'll see what I can do.
Me: Thanks.