I'd buy that for a dollar

Highlights of the upcoming Autumn schedules from the BBC

Life on Mars: Following on from his multiple-award winning 'Life on Earth' documentaries (including 'Life in the freezer' and 'Life in Cold Blood'), david Attenborough travels to the red planet where he discovers a selection of miraculously delicate and gentle alien lifeforms, which Gene Hunt stamps on.

Terry and Dune: When Paul Atreides (Terry Scott) and Reverend Mother Mohiam (June Whitfield) move to a semi-detached house next door to Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (John Prescott), hilarity ensures! In tonight's episode Terry brings home a Sandworm from the office, only to have to hide behind the settee it when the Emperor (Richard Wilson) comes to dinner!

Timekickers: A spinoff from the popular 'Bonekickers' and 'Dr. Who' franchises, this new series sees the invention of a time machine at Wessex Univerity allow a group of intrepid archaeologists to traverse history, solving mysteries as they go.
'Timekickers' will display the same quality of writing and subtle political comment displayed by 'Bonekickers'.
Week 1) The team discover that the massacre of Armenians in Turkey in 1912 was actually carried out by the English
Week 2) The team travel to Ethopia in the 1980's and discover that the famine there was caused by the English.
Week 3) The team travel to Chaipas 92,000,000 years ago and discover that the extinction of the dinosaurs was actually caused by the English.
Week 4) The team travel to Aleppo in 1138 where they discover that the Earthquake which killed 230,000 people was actually caused by the English.
Week 5) The team travel to 1347, where they discover that the black death and deaths of 1/3 of the population of Europe was actually caused by the English.
Week 6) The team travel to Judea in 33ad where they discover that Judas Iscariot was actually English.