Radio Times

More highlights of this weekend's TV from the BBC.

Friday, 10pm (FILM): The Bourne Incompetence
Starring Matt Damon. A top-secret government assassination programme is exposed when a senior civil servant leaves all the paperwork about it on the train.

Saturday, 5pm: The Littlest SuBo
The itinerant Britains got Talent star travels from town to town, befriending disabled children, solving crimes, and reuniting estranged familes by singing at them until they agree to love each other if she goes away.

Saturday, 9pm (FILM): One Trillion Years BC
The director of Independence Day and Godzilla presents the story of a plucky primal atom who must leave the safety of nul-space and seek his destiny. Big-budget special effects blockbuster with a truly explosive ending.
Features an 'astonishingly lifelike' performance by Hayden Christensen as an utterly blank void.

Test your might

In other news, if anyone fancies a laugh at my expense Ninja Master is running a Kung Fu demonstration at the Armed Forces Fun Day in Battersea Park tomorrow afternoon and he's shanghai'ed me into helping out. If my video games are any guide, this will feature me having my head punched clean off my shoulders whilst a disembodied voice shouts Finish Him!.