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From Russia With Lovers
Jul. 10th, 2009 09:29 amStarring James Bond, 007
(Inspired by This story)
[The scene: M, head of MI6, is sitting at her desk. A buzzer goes].
M: Yes?
Moneypenny (through intercom): Bond is here to see you, ma’am.
M: Send him in.
[Enter James Bond, smelling faintly of alcohol]
Bond: You wanted to see me, M?
M: Sit down. This is serious.
Bond (sitting): Serious?
M: Yes. The Russians have caught you out in a sting operation. They’ve released film of you in an Ekaterinburg brothel, cavorting with a pair of prostitutes.
Bond: I can explain, you see…
M: I don’t want to hear it. You’ve brought both the traditions and good name of this agency into disrepute. It’s just not good enough.
Bond: I’m sorry ma’am.
M: Only two Prostitutes? I would have expected at least half a dozen! Even French secret agents can handle two girls at once! What do we give you an expense account for?
Bond: Well, I’d just had a big night on the Vespers with Felix Leiter and –
M: Don’t use your drinking as an excuse.
Bond: No, the Vesper sisters, Mary and Janet. Did I mention that they’re gymnasts?
M: Did you film it?
Bond: No.
M: Then that’s no use to us. It’s no good, Bond. For the sake of our reputation, I’m pulling you out of the field.
Bond: What am I being transferred to?
M: Royal security detail.
Bond: Then my duties will include…
M: You know your duty, Bond.
JAMES BOND WILL RETURN IN:
ON HER MAJESTY’S PERSONAL SERVICES.
(Inspired by This story)
[The scene: M, head of MI6, is sitting at her desk. A buzzer goes].
M: Yes?
Moneypenny (through intercom): Bond is here to see you, ma’am.
M: Send him in.
[Enter James Bond, smelling faintly of alcohol]
Bond: You wanted to see me, M?
M: Sit down. This is serious.
Bond (sitting): Serious?
M: Yes. The Russians have caught you out in a sting operation. They’ve released film of you in an Ekaterinburg brothel, cavorting with a pair of prostitutes.
Bond: I can explain, you see…
M: I don’t want to hear it. You’ve brought both the traditions and good name of this agency into disrepute. It’s just not good enough.
Bond: I’m sorry ma’am.
M: Only two Prostitutes? I would have expected at least half a dozen! Even French secret agents can handle two girls at once! What do we give you an expense account for?
Bond: Well, I’d just had a big night on the Vespers with Felix Leiter and –
M: Don’t use your drinking as an excuse.
Bond: No, the Vesper sisters, Mary and Janet. Did I mention that they’re gymnasts?
M: Did you film it?
Bond: No.
M: Then that’s no use to us. It’s no good, Bond. For the sake of our reputation, I’m pulling you out of the field.
Bond: What am I being transferred to?
M: Royal security detail.
Bond: Then my duties will include…
M: You know your duty, Bond.
JAMES BOND WILL RETURN IN:
ON HER MAJESTY’S PERSONAL SERVICES.
