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I was reading the paper this morning on the way to work, like you do. It's not that I'm overly interested in the actual news, you understand. More that I simply want something - anything - which will distract me from the daily routine of the London Underground, and stories about kittens stuck in trees and Icelandic volcanoes help me to avoid making eye contact with my fellow internees passengers.
I was astounded to read that a study carried out on drinkers in Liverpool, Manchester and Chester indicated that one cheery evening reveller in ten in those cities goes out expecting to drink as many as twenty pints in a single evening.
Now, if I drank twenty pints on a regular basis, one of two things would happen very quickly: either I'd run out of money, or I'd die. It'd be a close run thing. Could I drink myself into an early grave before I ran out of cash, or would my overdraft facility be frozen before I needed my stomach pumped out? The very idea that there's a statistically significant proportion of the population for whom 20 pints - two and a half gallons - of beer is the definition of a good night out quite literally made my eyes pop clean out of my head and make a comical 'boing' noise like what happens in cartoons. There might have been a clash of cymbals as well. That's how surprised I was. Vikings carousing for eternity in Valhalla would struggle to sink twenty pints of lager in an evening. That's what I'm saying.
Now, the human stomach is a remarkable thing. It's designed to expand to hold an awful lot of stuff when it needs to. There's a story about Marc Almond out of Soft Cell that I'm not repeating here which demonstates that ability in a quite revolting way. Be that as it may, though, the biggest known tummy can't hold more than about 8 pints in any one go meaning even the fattest person with the best-developed bladder muscles ever would spend an eerie amount of time nipping to the lavatory and back. People would talk, I'm sure.
Speaking personally, if I have more than a pint or two I go really sleepy (although that might be because people give me rohypnol so they can take advantage of me) so I'm confident that it would be physically impossible for me to remain awake long enough to drink that much. but what about you?
[Poll #1553847]
I was astounded to read that a study carried out on drinkers in Liverpool, Manchester and Chester indicated that one cheery evening reveller in ten in those cities goes out expecting to drink as many as twenty pints in a single evening.
Now, if I drank twenty pints on a regular basis, one of two things would happen very quickly: either I'd run out of money, or I'd die. It'd be a close run thing. Could I drink myself into an early grave before I ran out of cash, or would my overdraft facility be frozen before I needed my stomach pumped out? The very idea that there's a statistically significant proportion of the population for whom 20 pints - two and a half gallons - of beer is the definition of a good night out quite literally made my eyes pop clean out of my head and make a comical 'boing' noise like what happens in cartoons. There might have been a clash of cymbals as well. That's how surprised I was. Vikings carousing for eternity in Valhalla would struggle to sink twenty pints of lager in an evening. That's what I'm saying.
Now, the human stomach is a remarkable thing. It's designed to expand to hold an awful lot of stuff when it needs to. There's a story about Marc Almond out of Soft Cell that I'm not repeating here which demonstates that ability in a quite revolting way. Be that as it may, though, the biggest known tummy can't hold more than about 8 pints in any one go meaning even the fattest person with the best-developed bladder muscles ever would spend an eerie amount of time nipping to the lavatory and back. People would talk, I'm sure.
Speaking personally, if I have more than a pint or two I go really sleepy (although that might be because people give me rohypnol so they can take advantage of me) so I'm confident that it would be physically impossible for me to remain awake long enough to drink that much. but what about you?
[Poll #1553847]
