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The United Nations Security Council has issued a strongly-worded condemnation of Captain Horatio Pugwash after a high-seas raid led by the captain went wrong over the weekend. Captain Cut-Throat Jake, the victim of the raid, issued the following statement:
"We was on a peaceful mission to Skull Island, carryin' a load of Potassium Nitrate in bags marked 'sugar' for 'umanitarian purposes when Pugwash 'oved up in 'is ship an' boarded us, that 'e did. There was a pushin' and a shovin' and after I went for Pugwash wi' me cutlass, 'e and 'is men shot 'alf me crew. Arrr."
This is the latest flare-up in a long-running dispute between Pugwash and Jake, both of whom claim the island of Portobello in the Spanish Main as their territory. Pugwash has often claimed that it is only by maintaining a blockade on Skull Island in his ship, The Black Pig, that Portobello can continue to prosper by recieving rich subsidies of Gold from the New World.
When asked to comment on the United Nations resolution, Pugwash replied; "Blistering Barnacles, me hearties! That Black Jake is a rascally rapscallion", before asking his cabin boy what he should do next.
"Curse 'e, Pugwash", added Cut-Throat Jake. "I don't recognise your legal right to exist, that I don't."
"We was on a peaceful mission to Skull Island, carryin' a load of Potassium Nitrate in bags marked 'sugar' for 'umanitarian purposes when Pugwash 'oved up in 'is ship an' boarded us, that 'e did. There was a pushin' and a shovin' and after I went for Pugwash wi' me cutlass, 'e and 'is men shot 'alf me crew. Arrr."
This is the latest flare-up in a long-running dispute between Pugwash and Jake, both of whom claim the island of Portobello in the Spanish Main as their territory. Pugwash has often claimed that it is only by maintaining a blockade on Skull Island in his ship, The Black Pig, that Portobello can continue to prosper by recieving rich subsidies of Gold from the New World.
When asked to comment on the United Nations resolution, Pugwash replied; "Blistering Barnacles, me hearties! That Black Jake is a rascally rapscallion", before asking his cabin boy what he should do next.
"Curse 'e, Pugwash", added Cut-Throat Jake. "I don't recognise your legal right to exist, that I don't."
