Ask a stupid question.

I was standing on the beach, the gentle waves lapping at my toes. It was the sort of beach you can only get to by boat, so there weren't that many of us there and those of us who were had all at least said hallo on the trip that morning.
I was looking out to sea as the she-David had gone for a swim and I was wondering where she'd gone. Maybe she was bobbing out into the ocean or possibly some telltale splashing would suggest that she was being eaten by a shark (but enough of my idle daydreams). Anyway, as I stood there one of the ladies who we'd shared the boat with that morning walked up to me. "Where's your wife?", she asked.
I started in a guilty fashion and quickly looked around. "Cripes!", I said. "In England, I hope."

And that was the end of that conversation.