Here is the news

A roundup of some of this week's news headlines.

Charles Kennedy denies he will defect to Labour
"Not even I drink that much", says Kennedy.

Cat found in dustbin in Coventry
"He wasn't hurt", says Officer Dibble. "But I wish he'd stop using my phone".

"Stuck in a hole and will be out by Christmas"
But that's enough about Nick Clegg - what about the Chilean Miners?

Film "Coco and Igor" released in Cinemas
Movie fans warned that, despite the title, it isn't a documentary about the Milliband brothers.

British spy found dead in the bath
"We believe Mr. Bond died of cirrhosis of the liver", say doctors. "We're surprised he lasted as long as he did."