A few years ago now, I bought myself a Zimbabwean five hundred million dollar bill. At the time the Zimbabwean dollar was the least valuable currency the world had ever seen, trading roughly on a par with the pebble and the broken stick. Anyway, about a year later I was wandering down Shaftesbury Avenue when I was accosted by a Big Issue seller who, unlike many Big Issue sellers, was cheerful, funny and an excellent raconteur. After buying a copy of the magazine I stood and chatted with him for about ten minutes about the celebrities he saw coming out of the theatres, and which ones were generous and which ones weren't. After a while I realised I was taking up his selling time so I bid him good-day, but he was such a lovely bloke I stuck my hand in my pocket and said "Look, would you accept..."
He held up his hand. "No, thanks", he said. "I'm selling, not taking donations."
I was very impressed indeed.
"Tell you what, then", I said back, opening my wallet. "How about a souvenir instead?"
He looked at what I was offering.
"Yeah", he grinned at me. "I'll take that."
And so it was that I gave a beggar two hundred and fifty million dollars.
Naturally, I had to go out and replace my banknote, but the Zimbabwean economy had got even worse since my first purchase so I bought myself one of these instead:
.
For a time a few years ago the Zimbabweans were running hyperinflation at a rate of 7.96 × 1010%, caused by the government printing more and more money to try to pay its debts - or "Quantitative Easing", as we call it in this country. What's interesting, though, is that since April 2009, the Zimbabwean government has stopped printing more and more cash and as a result inflation has stalled sharply - at the last count inflation in Zimbabwe was down to about 3%, and that's lower than it is here.
I find this interesting because we have arm of government whose job description is specifically to keep inflation below 2% whilst they have a berserk dictator who has been driven mad by syphillis and yet they seem to have pulled things together rather better than we can (the UK is currently running - officially - inflation at 5.1%. In reality it's between 7-8%).
Of course, the reason we're actually doing this whilst pretending that we want to get inflation down is to try to inflate away some of the national debt. We're paying more than forty billion quid a year in interest alone - which is more then we spend on either education or defense - and that number is still going up as state spending - and borrowing - has risen every month for the last year despite the cries about 'the cuts'.
So it is that I keep a hundred trillion dollars in my wallet. It makes for an interesting conversation piece and people are always interested in it. Who wouldn't be? But it's also a reminder to me about what money is - it's a representative system of exchange, but you have to remember that it represents stuff other people own, and they can make it worth less just by printing you more of it. And there's not a whole lot you can do about it.
He held up his hand. "No, thanks", he said. "I'm selling, not taking donations."
I was very impressed indeed.
"Tell you what, then", I said back, opening my wallet. "How about a souvenir instead?"
He looked at what I was offering.
"Yeah", he grinned at me. "I'll take that."
And so it was that I gave a beggar two hundred and fifty million dollars.
Naturally, I had to go out and replace my banknote, but the Zimbabwean economy had got even worse since my first purchase so I bought myself one of these instead:

For a time a few years ago the Zimbabweans were running hyperinflation at a rate of 7.96 × 1010%, caused by the government printing more and more money to try to pay its debts - or "Quantitative Easing", as we call it in this country. What's interesting, though, is that since April 2009, the Zimbabwean government has stopped printing more and more cash and as a result inflation has stalled sharply - at the last count inflation in Zimbabwe was down to about 3%, and that's lower than it is here.
I find this interesting because we have arm of government whose job description is specifically to keep inflation below 2% whilst they have a berserk dictator who has been driven mad by syphillis and yet they seem to have pulled things together rather better than we can (the UK is currently running - officially - inflation at 5.1%. In reality it's between 7-8%).
Of course, the reason we're actually doing this whilst pretending that we want to get inflation down is to try to inflate away some of the national debt. We're paying more than forty billion quid a year in interest alone - which is more then we spend on either education or defense - and that number is still going up as state spending - and borrowing - has risen every month for the last year despite the cries about 'the cuts'.
So it is that I keep a hundred trillion dollars in my wallet. It makes for an interesting conversation piece and people are always interested in it. Who wouldn't be? But it's also a reminder to me about what money is - it's a representative system of exchange, but you have to remember that it represents stuff other people own, and they can make it worth less just by printing you more of it. And there's not a whole lot you can do about it.