Vous chantez seulement quand vous gagnez

A suggested alternative french national anthem.

When I was just a little child
I asked my mother, "How do we fare?
Have we known victory, triumphs and routs?"
She answered, "Non, mon cher.

Que sera, sera,"
These words she with grief pronounced,
"We always get roundly trounced,
Que sera, sera.
Que sera, sera,
It seems to be what we're for,
We've known it since Agincourt,
Que sera, sera."

Each time the Germans crossed the line
I saw our colours, would they still run?
I asked my mother, here's what she said
"That's what we've always done.

Que sera, sera
It's 'cos we're the French, you see
C'est un defait accompli,
Que sera, sera.
Que sera, sera
The victors are on parade,
The Prussians march in the shade,
Que sera, sera."

I often stop and think about
Our next new masters, who will they be?
Will it be Latvia, Tonga or Chad?
We'll have to wait and see.

Que sera, sera,
No matter how weak or slight,
We'll give in without a fight,
Que sera, sera.
Que sera, sera,
It's all in the hands of Fate,
We're sure to capitulate,
Que sera, sera.
(Reprise)
Que sera, sera,
We always throw in our towels,
Cry "mercy" and void our bowels
Que sera, sera.