Apr. 26th, 2011

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In a strongly worded letter to the Chinese authorities today, regulars of The News Quiz and The Now Show have demanded that imprisoned Chinese artist Ai Weiwei – pronounced “I wee-wee” in English - be incarcerated “for no longer than his name still gets a laugh”, or at least until Jeremy Hardy can afford a new conservatory. The letter, signed by many Radio Four stalwarts, declared that although they fully believed in freedom of expression and the rights of the individual and all that stuff, they’d be very grateful if the Chinese could hold off releasing “Wee-wee” until his name stopped being the funniest thing they could think of.

The plight of dissident artist Weiwei, who was last seen trying to board a place to Hong Kong several weeks ago, has been kept in the news by the fact that he has an unfortunate name and a very silly beard. As a result, he has kept BBC gagwriters in moccachino lattes for the last several weeks.

When asked to clarify his position, Stephen Fry said “Just saying ‘I wee wee’ in a serious but plummy voice and with a bit of a saucy twinkle in my eye is enough to render an entire hall full of QI fans helpless with mirth. Whilst Mr. WeiWei’s incarceration is a personal tragedy, I hope the Chinese authorities will also consider the effect on Steve Punt of having to come up with some new material”. Mr Fry than added “I wee-wee. I wee-wee! Ha! Oh, sorry, I think I’m going to have to sit down. I wee-wee indeed. I wee-wee! I wee-wee. Oh dear.”

Ian Hislop, editor of Private Eye and team captain on Have I got News for You said “What people have to realise is that the most serious issue here is Marcus Brigstocke getting over a hundred grand a year for saying bankers are overpaid. I’ll leave you to figure that one out.”

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