Gordon Brown "to stand for president of FIFA".

In the wake of his rejection as head of the IMF, former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announced his intention to stand for president of international footballing body FIFA at the earliest opportunity. FIFA been rocked by scandal recently, including expenses abuse, unaudited payments to and from potential suppliers, and only one candidate being put forward as President in recent elections.
"Put bluntly, I would be an ideal match for such an organisation and would bring extensive experience in a similar role to the position", said Brown. "And I look forward to doing for international football what I did for the British economy."

In other news, reports of a high-pitch buzzing noise on Barnes Common have been confirmed as the sound of Ebenezer Cobb Morley turning in his grave.

It's moments like this which make it all worthwhile.

The scene: David and the she-David are returning a small child to it's owners after a day spent entertaining it at a castle.

She-David: So, small child, what was your favourite part of today?
Small child: David!
Me: Get in!