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In dramatic scenes at the US Congress, President Barack Obama angrily turned on detractors in the Tea Party movement who were demanding his fiscal policy be changed, and announced that so long as he threw more than a five on his next turn he would pass go and reduce the US debt by two hundred dollars.
He went on to add that “Rich Uncle Pennybags” had made his fortune the old-fashioned way and he was being prevented from doing the same by the Republican party’s refusal to let him play the top hat.
President Obama insisted that reducing the US national debt, currently approaching US$15trn, is his primary objective and he hopes to reduce it further by throwing a nine, landing on a chance square, and getting a tax rebate in his favour. “If the Republican Party have their way, I’ll roll a four and land on Park Lane which is owned by the Chinese with a hotel on it”, said the President. “The United States simply cannot afford another two thousand dollars at a time of grave national crisis, and so if they’d just shut up and let me concentrate on blowing on the dice for luck I’d be very grateful.”
In international news, Vladimir Putin is rumoured to have won second prize in a beauty contest and received ten roubles in prize money. The winner of the contest has not been seen since.
He went on to add that “Rich Uncle Pennybags” had made his fortune the old-fashioned way and he was being prevented from doing the same by the Republican party’s refusal to let him play the top hat.
President Obama insisted that reducing the US national debt, currently approaching US$15trn, is his primary objective and he hopes to reduce it further by throwing a nine, landing on a chance square, and getting a tax rebate in his favour. “If the Republican Party have their way, I’ll roll a four and land on Park Lane which is owned by the Chinese with a hotel on it”, said the President. “The United States simply cannot afford another two thousand dollars at a time of grave national crisis, and so if they’d just shut up and let me concentrate on blowing on the dice for luck I’d be very grateful.”
In international news, Vladimir Putin is rumoured to have won second prize in a beauty contest and received ten roubles in prize money. The winner of the contest has not been seen since.
