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[Politics] Conference season
Oct. 16th, 2013 11:25 amWell, the party conferences are out of the way and they've all been setting out their stalls for the election in 18 months time. I thought I'd do a quick round up.
UKIP
Headline policy: We don't like gays or women with an IQ over 70.
It's a downer. Back when UKIP were a single-issue pressure group campaigning to leave the EU, they had a simple message which nobody could reasonably disagree with. Alas, with their surge they've decided they had to come up with policies, and so they came up with really stupid ones. Somehow they've managed to go from being the anti-EU party to being the anti-gay marriage party. How did that happen?
And their proposal for a UK sovereign wealth fund holes their claim to economic credibility under the waterline. Still, it was nice whilst it lasted.
Conservative
Headline policy: We don't like people under 25.
And it was all going so well. Having handed Ed & Ed their arses on important stuff like the economy, welfare and education, they get up and announce that people under 25 won't be allowed to get the dole.
The problem for me here is that I was a doley dosser for a couple of years after I graduated, and so voting for a policy which would prevent people doing exactly what I did would be deeply hypocritical of me.
Labour
Headline policy: We still can't do sums
After a successful thirteen years of government proving they can't do sums, Labour are nailing their inability to perform basic mathematical functions to the mast and going for broke. Literally. Twenty years ago, there was a public outcry over "Teen Talk" Barbie because when you pulled the string on her back she said "Maths is hard". Now when you get up on stage at a political conference and do much the same it's hailed as a statesmanlike vote winner.
Liberal Democrat
Headline Policy: We'll do anything - anything at all - to get back into government.
The Libdems didn't really announce any policies beyond giving telling Labour and the Conservatives to make a shopping list of things they'd be willing to offer to a coalition partner. I was impressed by the commitment to both Liberalism and Democracy in this position.
The Greens
Headline policy:
I looked over the green party website and they didn't really appear to have a headline policy. I suppose the closest they came was a commitment to renationalising the railways, and I've got to say the irony of a bunch of people claiming UKIP want to take Britain back to the 1950s whilst simultaneously promising a round of industrial nationalisation didn't pass me by.
The nationalisation plan is based on the old canard that Britain has the highest railway subsidies in Europe, which skips over the fact that the French have given their railways 30% more money than the UK in the last decade, and the Greeks spent triple the UK subsidy per passenger mile - which was instrumental in their subsequent national bankruptcy.
I can only assume that when the Greens demand evidence-based polices, they don't mean their own.
Anyway, that leaves me back where I was about 5 years ago, with nobody I can realistically vote for. Any suggestions?
UKIP
Headline policy: We don't like gays or women with an IQ over 70.
It's a downer. Back when UKIP were a single-issue pressure group campaigning to leave the EU, they had a simple message which nobody could reasonably disagree with. Alas, with their surge they've decided they had to come up with policies, and so they came up with really stupid ones. Somehow they've managed to go from being the anti-EU party to being the anti-gay marriage party. How did that happen?
And their proposal for a UK sovereign wealth fund holes their claim to economic credibility under the waterline. Still, it was nice whilst it lasted.
Conservative
Headline policy: We don't like people under 25.
And it was all going so well. Having handed Ed & Ed their arses on important stuff like the economy, welfare and education, they get up and announce that people under 25 won't be allowed to get the dole.
The problem for me here is that I was a doley dosser for a couple of years after I graduated, and so voting for a policy which would prevent people doing exactly what I did would be deeply hypocritical of me.
Labour
Headline policy: We still can't do sums
After a successful thirteen years of government proving they can't do sums, Labour are nailing their inability to perform basic mathematical functions to the mast and going for broke. Literally. Twenty years ago, there was a public outcry over "Teen Talk" Barbie because when you pulled the string on her back she said "Maths is hard". Now when you get up on stage at a political conference and do much the same it's hailed as a statesmanlike vote winner.
Liberal Democrat
Headline Policy: We'll do anything - anything at all - to get back into government.
The Libdems didn't really announce any policies beyond giving telling Labour and the Conservatives to make a shopping list of things they'd be willing to offer to a coalition partner. I was impressed by the commitment to both Liberalism and Democracy in this position.
The Greens
Headline policy:
I looked over the green party website and they didn't really appear to have a headline policy. I suppose the closest they came was a commitment to renationalising the railways, and I've got to say the irony of a bunch of people claiming UKIP want to take Britain back to the 1950s whilst simultaneously promising a round of industrial nationalisation didn't pass me by.
The nationalisation plan is based on the old canard that Britain has the highest railway subsidies in Europe, which skips over the fact that the French have given their railways 30% more money than the UK in the last decade, and the Greeks spent triple the UK subsidy per passenger mile - which was instrumental in their subsequent national bankruptcy.
I can only assume that when the Greens demand evidence-based polices, they don't mean their own.
Anyway, that leaves me back where I was about 5 years ago, with nobody I can realistically vote for. Any suggestions?
