David vs useless mugger. Fight!
Mar. 5th, 2014 09:26 amWandering home from the gym last night, logging my session on fitocracy as I strolled, a man approached me on the pavement.
"Excuse me", he said in a thick accent*, "do you know the way the Chelsea Bridge?"
"Sure!", I said, half-turning and pointing with my free hand. "It's over-"
At that moment he lunged forward, grabbed my other arm and tried to snatch my phone. I shook him off and gave him a shove away.
There was a long moment where we just looked at each other. He wasn't that much shorter than me, which is unusual, but he was either noticeably older than I am or had spent the last couple of decades drinking far more than me. It's difficult to say. I could have sworn at him, or run away, or punched him, but didn't. Instead I was just annoyed.
It's interesting to learn how one reacts in a situation like this, and I can report my reaction is one of peevishness.
He, in his turn, glared at me as if I'd acted entirely unreasonably in declining to give him a free telephone**. Lord knows. Perhaps he thought I should be handing it over just because. "Here, take this iPhone. Tip-top condition. It's even got Flappy Bird on it." Something like that, perhaps.
And then he ran off.
Actually, I say "ran" but he went off in a sort of half-walk half-jog and I went the other way looking over my shoulder. It was mildly embarrassing in a British sort of way. This always happens when someone tries to mug me and realises I'm not going to let them, like that time during the riots a couple of years ago.
About five or ten minutes later it struck me that I ought to hail a constable and let them know this fellow was about.
And then I went home and ate pancakes, none the worse for my little adventure.
*I'm not going to say what accent it was. I'm going to let you imagine based on your personal prejudices. It's funnier that way.
**Bloody socialists.