Clegg/Farage debate leads to unexpected gay marriage

In an inadvertent twist to their debates in the future of Britain in the European Union, after more than an hour of argument Nick Clegg told Nigel Farage “you complete me”, and the two men agreed to marry without further delay.
Before an audience of millions, the two men declared their complete dependency for the rest of their political lives as, in a crowded hall in front of a picked BBC audience, Nick and Nigel solemnly confirmed their mutual need for each other.
“It was a touching moment”, said one witness. “Of course we’ve all known about Nick and Nigel for years, but to see them make it public like this was wonderful. The way they gazed at each other just made it clear that neither of them has any hope without the other.”

“Without Nigel I’d just be a sorry has-been who everyone ignores”, said Deputy Prime Minister Clegg, “but when he and I were on television I felt alive and important again. He really made me feel like what I said mattered for the first time in years.
“I can’t remember the last time I had more than six people listen to anything I said”, he added. “And that’s if you include the dog and my gerbils.”

Nigel Farage said “I think I first loved Nick when I pointed out that his ‘benefits’ of staying in the EU were nothing a tissue of lies and he started to cry”, said Nigel Farage, coyly running a finger around the rim of his pint. “I do like a man who can show his sensitive side. Especially when he’s also responsible for biggest audience I’m ever likely to have in my entire life.
“I hope we can do this again and again forever.”

When asked about his wife, Nick Clegg refused to make any comment except “I’m very sorry”, a remix of which is now at no.7 in the charts.

Sources close to the couple expect them both to retire from politics after they both come nowhere in the next election and look for work in the light entertainment chat-show business.
“Both Alan Carr and Graham Norton are knocking on a bit, so the BBC needs a couple of bitchy queens to prop up the Saturday night schedules – and Nick and Nigel would seem to fit the bill. .
“And let’s face it, neither of them is cut out for government.”