Scientific Study: Results.

[davywavy]

Well, the results are (mostly) in. If you didn't vote in my poll yesterday, you can still go and do so here.
Some people say that the results of social science experiments aren't "proper" science as it isn't possible to exactly replicate the results in laboratory conditions. To those people I say: get me a bunch of people in a laboratory and free reign without fear of subsequent prosecution and I'll replicate any results you like as many times as I like.
Anyway, my study of yesterday indicated that what most - but interestingly not all - women want is to be loved for themselves and to be treated as an equal and what they want least is the clap, so that's my hopes of a future love life scuppered right there. Interestingly, 73% of women want to be loved for themselves, and 38.5% of women want to be loved for their knockers, which leads to the inescapable statistical conclusion that more than 10% of women just want to be loved for their hooters without any of that old personality nonsense getting in the way.

The things that most women want second most often are fulfilling careers and a damn good seeing to, so there's at least one ambition I can help you out with there, ladies.

Whilst only 27% of women want stay at home and be cared for, if you add Jonny Depp into that equation then suddenly 46.2% of you are happy to take that lifestyle choice, and 11.5% of women want to know what I'm doing later - the answer to which, hopefully, is 'being rather busy'. Ding-Dong.

Overall, my results indicate that for most of my female readership, the perfect man is a Jonny Depp lookalike with an account at Thorntons, who owns a fast car full of money which he will use to drive you to interesting and exciting new places whilst periodically stopping off to roger you silly over the bonnet and then give you a job. Respectfully, of course.

Have I missed anything?

Comments

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Sounds about right to me :) Except that my hooters are part of me, so lovong me for my hooters is a subset of loving me for myself.

What you've missed? Do you still have GenCon&ThorntonGary's phone number? :p

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

So love you, love your hooters?

[aiwendel.livejournal.com]

conclusion... sounds good :)
xxxxxx

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Did I mention that I'm planning to buy a lotus and have plastic surgery next year?

[aiwendel.livejournal.com]

lol
no .. I don't think you did...
where are you based again?
;)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Where would you like me to be based, baby :D

[aiwendel.livejournal.com]

*raises eyebrows* ........

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty fair assessment, yup :)

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

a boyfriend of a big breasted lady has to, in emergencies, act as a bra. Therefore a good relationship with breasts is essential

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Hello. You see to crop up on my friends lists every now and again, and I like what I've read, so I'm adding you - just wanted to let you know :)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Delighted to make your acquiantance!

[ditzy-pole.livejournal.com]

You? Do Science experiments? How is that possible for you to get conclusive results when over a 3rd of women think your puny man-mind cannot handle them!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That just tells me that a third of women have ideas above their station.

[ditzy-pole.livejournal.com]

and 11.5% of women want to know what I'm doing later

So out of those 3 people how many were actually women? :oP

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

If any of them were, I certainly wouldn't mention it!

[winterbadger]

That should be easy! Who doesn't love hooters? :-)

[aerin.livejournal.com]

If you can accomplish these things, you'll have at least one lady at your command. As long as you're respectful about it, of course.

Plastic surgery optional.

[ukporl.livejournal.com]

"...my results indicate that for most of my female readership, the perfect man is a Jonny Depp lookalike with an account at Thorntons, who owns a fast car full of money which he will use to drive you to interesting and exciting new places whilst periodically stopping off to roger you silly over the bonnet and then give you a job. Respectfully, of course."

Actually, not just your female readership...

[wendy-lady.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's about right.

[mooncadet.livejournal.com]

cake. you forgot cake. and buffy.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

And bore worms, my pretty.