Talk to the hand

[davywavy]

Anyone who has ever watched Jerry Springer (or equivalent) will have heard the phrase "Talk to the hand (because the face isn't listening)". It's a phrase used by people who know they don't have an answer but desperately want to have the last word and so they're cutting off the conversation on their own terms regardless of how stupid it makes them look (like the word 'Meh', which is used in similar ways).
Sometimes someone will come up with a variant - I've heard "Talk to the elbow 'cos even the hand doesn't care", which I thought was fairly witty if it was an off-the-cuff riposte.
But does it have to be the hand we must talk to? Can we talk to other body parts too?

Talk to the bowel because you're both full of crap.
Talk to the scrotum, 'cos you're talking bollocks.
Talk to the arse, 'cos you're talking crap
Talk to the kindeys, 'cos you're takin' the piss
Talk to the gall bladder and you'll get a stony reaction.
Talk to the spleen because you're both full of bile*

^{* Yes, I know the spleen doesn't produce bile, but I wanted to put a spleen reference in for robinbloke and this was the best I could do.}

Comments

[cavalorn.livejournal.com]

The best response I ever heard to 'talk to the hand' was 'Hello, hand! Still married to the cock?'

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That is particualrly good. I shall use it and pretend that I made it up.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

That or a variant of it I shall have to remember...

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Huzah for the spleen :)

[(Anonymous)]

Talk to the liver 'cos its views are jaundiced too

H

[sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com]

Talk to the groin, 'coz you're both nuts.

One I quite liked was 'Talk to the hand coz the wrist is pissed'. I don't actually know what it means but it was very funny when said by an overly camp John Barrowman.

I just thought of another

[(Anonymous)]

Talk to the foot 'cos it's your sole audience! Ho ho

H

A bit subtle for Jerry Springer, possibly

[(Anonymous)]

Talk to the leg bone 'cos it's another fibia telling

H

Re: A bit subtle for Jerry Springer, possibly

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You don't have much work to do today, do you?

Re: A bit subtle for Jerry Springer, possibly

[(Anonymous)]

Talk to the colon 'cos that's a spastic question

H

Re: A bit subtle for Jerry Springer, possibly

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I love you too.

Re: A bit subtle for Jerry Springer, possibly

[(Anonymous)]

Talk to the stomach lining, David, 'cos you're talking tripe

H

Re: A bit subtle for Jerry Springer, possibly

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Talk to the nose, 'cos that snot funny.

Re: A bit subtle for Jerry Springer, possibly

[(Anonymous)]

Talk to the hernia, 'cos it needs your support

H