Back, from outer space.

[davywavy]

Well, that's that over with for another year.

Did you miss me, while I was away? Did you hang my picture on your wall?
A short update on of what I've done recently:

1) I stayed in this hotel. I sometimes think that I only do these things so I can warn other people not to. Was it bad? Well, let's put it like this. About ten years ago, I arrived home one day to find all my possessions in binbags on the doorstep and the locks changed, thanks to my delightful landlord.
And I slept in nicer places than that hotel when I was homeless. I think that says it all, really.

2) To make up for that, though, I also stayed in this delightful old place:


3) I learned that when someone says they've found a secret passage but it's locked, it actually means they're hammering on a slightly hollow-sounding bit of wall.

4) I learned that shouting "By the power of Greyskull!" during sex is unlikely to be well recieved.

5) I finished reading the Old Testament. I could go on about this one.

6) I learned that eating too much game pie has an effect upon my digestive system which may be likened to blowing hard down a trombone full of chocolate mousse.

7) You lucky lot didn't have to read my intemperate rant about the latest budget, in which Gordon Brown racked up my tax burden in order to subsidise HSBC and sundry other large financial organisations: http://www.accountancyage.com/financial-director/features/2173294/haven-wait
I bet you're glad you missed out on that one, hmn?

I'm pretty sure I did some other interesting stuff, but it all seems so long ago and far away now. Did I miss anything?

Comments

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

4) I learned that shouting "By the power of Greyskull!" during sex is unlikely to be well recieved.

You didn't


did you?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Would I do such a silly, silly thing?

[silver-blue.livejournal.com]

We definitely need details on that.

Hmmm, may rival the other story (not me!) which had the shouting of "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" - by the woman incidentally. :)

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

The brum hotel looks pleasant enough. How looks can be deceiving.
The second one looks lovely but also cold and drafty.

4) only you...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

The Birmingham Hotel was one of the two worst hotels I've ever stayed at.perhaps not quite the worst (Britannia Birmingham wins that one), but it was pretty darn awful.

[calligrafiti.livejournal.com]

Nifty looking place.

4) I learned that shouting "By the power of Greyskull!" during sex is unlikely to be well recieved.

Maybe you just need geekier sex partners.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I've never tried "Hey, baby, wanna be my Princess of Power" as a chat up line. Do you think it'd work?

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

possibly...

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

Where is that house? I think I might have stayed there too - it had a priest hole under the floor that looked decidedly cramped, and a rather nice music room.

[calligrafiti.livejournal.com]

That depends on how good you look in a blond bob.

[elbly.livejournal.com]

Point 2 - where is that? it's stunning?

Point 6 - That's just grim! What is it about you boys and your toilet humour?

[elbly.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that all priest holes look cramped - maybe they just didn't feed priests much so they could fit in there without much discomfort...

[godzuki.livejournal.com]

Nice to see you back.

Why does that house have a fuse? And why didnt you light it.

Also, your mistake was probably that you werent holding your sword aloft while saying it.

[adventink.livejournal.com]

Welcome back!

It seems your government and Iran had a little bit of a tiff, but other than that you didn't miss too much.

How about that Leviticus eh?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You haven't known tedium until you've read the book of Jeremiah.

[sea-cucumber.livejournal.com]

point 4: I am never likely to be in such a situation, but hypothetically speaking, I think I would find that rather funny.

point 5: I preferred the sequel :)

point 6: I hate it when the world falls out of one's bottom. It is most disconcerting.

point 7: Can we hunt him down(and the rest of the government, just for fun) on horseback with packs of hounds?

[(Anonymous)]

7. I find it particularly funny that he's doubled the income tax rate for people on the minimum wage! Nothing like encouraging people to work eh Gordon?

Nothing at all.

[fonnparr.livejournal.com]

I've never been in a priest's hole, but I expect it would be quite cramped.

[applez.livejournal.com]

I always thought "Thunder...Thunder...Thundercats!" was the more obvious choice.

[jessworld.livejournal.com]

4. "We wants it, we needs it. Must have the preciousss." Is also an ill advised sexual advance ;)

[the-mendicant.livejournal.com]

That surely depends upon whether the priest is Catholic?

[the-mendicant.livejournal.com]

Sex? What's that then? (mutters about dim and distant memory....)

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

yeah, but the soft-porn in Song of Songs helps ya through that!
(grins)

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

4- Its powered by the power of Greyskull?
Hmmmmmn.

5- Someday- DO. I would love to have a banter on this. You know- Book with the most deaths (cos lets face it the OT has some seruious Crimes against humanity goinh' on); funniest book, Book with most sex in it... we could do an awards show! LOL!

6- Thank you. That made my day.

Glad to see you back old chap.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Most deaths?

I'd guess Exodus. Thousands, I say thousands of people struck down because someone put his hand out to stop the Ark of the Covenant toppling over.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That just because you never said it to me, my little Gollum of lurve.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

It's Warden Abbey near Bedford.

Just to rub it in, this weekend I'm off to stay here:

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

It's Warden Abbey near Bedford. No music room that I noticed.

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

"Back away from the word of God! Slowly... SLOWLY... just... don't... make... any..noise... in... case ... it... hears... you!"

(SNEEZE)
(thunk)
"Ohmi..."
LIGHTNINGFLASH!!!!!
(crater)
(smoke)
(sound of wind)

Hell, that thing was lethal. Moses had to go veiled for about twenty years because it burned his face so badly!
I mean- THAT'S why we oppose the use of weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East!

Mind you Genesis sure has some awesome body counts...
"That's it! They have suinned! Drown them ALL! ALL of them! Except... THAT alcoholic and his family."

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

(blinks)
Can you BUY little Gollums of Lurve?
I think there may be a market!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

"You looked at your dad naked? Your descendants will be demanding an apology for what I'm about to do to you for the next ten thousand years!"

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

"Uncle Noah?"
"Yes, Sheb son of Shem"
"Who were the Giants?"
"We don't talk about them."

later.
"Uncle Noah. About them Giants?"
"What is it NOW Sheb, son of Shem?"
"Why did all the ladies sleep with them? If they knew they were evil and wicked, why did they sleep with them? And what DID the giants do wrong?"
"SIGH! Well Sheb son of Shem it goes like this... see the Ginats were BIG. Much bigger than us normal humans."
"Yes?"
"In ALL departments!"
"Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh."
(Sheb son of Shem looks shocked)
"But now we have to kill you."
"Just for asking about the Giants?"
"That and questioning the diminished genetic stock material having only one breeding pair of any animal."
"No... wait..."

[elbly.livejournal.com]

That's stunning! I need the name of that too please! :o)

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

Ah! No. I stayed in another remarkably similar looking house in Wales. Damn confusing historical people, building all these identical historical houses.

Why could they have put a bit more variety into their architecture?