If you aren't part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate.

[davywavy]

Wandering down the street a while ago, I was stopped by a young fellow who asked me for a few moments of my time. I'm a generous sort so I agreed and he told me that he was collecting signatures and support for a vitally important cause. I asked him what the cause was and he explained - in short - that he and his organisation were in favour of restricting trade in order to make the third world richer.
I wasn't convinced that this would work (due to plans like this having a nigh-100% failure rate), and said so, and he went off into a long rant about how he was right and Adam Smith was wrong.
I didn't hear much of what he said. Not because I stopped listening, but because my brain had started melting and dribbling out of my ears with the effort of thinking down to his level. I managed to get my ears cleaned out just in time to hear him tell me that if I wasn't part of the solution, then I was part of the problem.
I was about to wag an admonishing finger at him and explain that this was a logical fallacy when something stopped me. The realisation that if "If you're not part of the solution then you are part of the problem" were logically true, then it's reverse - "If you're not part of the problem, then you're part of the solution" - must also be true, and how much easier and more fun this would make life.
It struck me just how many problems there are out there which I'm not part of - so I must be part of the solution to them. For example, nobody in their right mind could claim I'm part of the problem of recent typhoid outbreaks in China and so I must be part of the solution, and all I've done is sit on my arse and watch the Simpsons on YouTube. I hear that the citizens of Szechuan province are to put up a statue to me.
This afternoon I plan on helping solve the ongoing problem of the extinction of the Pterodactyl by spinning round and round in my executive-style chair and eating Wagon Wheels. Which problems will you be solving?

Comments

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Ah, I needed a laugh; thanks.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

And by laughing you are a part of the solution to the problem of the Mongol invasion of Europe in 1271. Go you!

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

I hear Mrs Perkins down the road has a arthritic knee. I'm nothing to do with that problem so am clearly part of the solution. I shall be taking one of her garden gnomes as payment.

JmC
And by garden gnome I mean her tv

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Too late - I solved the problem of garden gnome/television theft from the elderly yesterday by having a nice long bath and then playing Civilisation.

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

Oh, but tariffs have such a winning track record. In fact, rather than pooh-poohing such a progressive idea, you should've suggested an even more far-reaching solution to the poor world's trade problems.

Rather than slapping these infant-industry-nursing, growth-engendering, employment-protecting tariffs only, say, between France and Cameroon, we could ensure even greater growth and prosperity by slapping additional tariffs between all the West African countries. Then we'd take an individual country like Nigeria, and create trade barriers between Kano, Abuja and Lagos. Then we'd move on to sub-units.

Ultimately, I plan on having transportation quotas and a small export tariff between the kitchen and the living room by 2009.

[elbly.livejournal.com]

Last time someone with a clipboard out on the high street asked me if they could have a few minutes of my time I responded with:

"Sure... I'm a lapdancer... it's £20 for 3 minutes... how many minutes did you want?"

Never have I found a more successful way of avoiding irritating and time wasting b*st*rds.
===========
I've noticed that I'm not part of the problem of the huge number of footballers-wives-wanna-be's... As I am part of the solution to this problem I propose that I remove half a kilo of their flesh (including fluids contained therein) from each one who offends me with her: a) screaching voice; b) hideous dress sense; c)centimeter thick make-up; d) combination/all of the above.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a good deal.
I'll have 15 minutes, please.
Ding-dong!

[(Anonymous)]

It's not going to take her 14.5 minutes to make you a cup of tea.

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

Adam Smith has been incredibly rarely wrong, just often hideously misquoted. Anyone who argues otherwise I generally consider to be a twit, although if they start saying he was a right-wing/conservative supporter I generally consider to be a twit again.

Me, I shall mostly be solving the Panda problem by not paying any attention to them. I'm sure it will help in the long run.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

They'd be getting it the wrong way round then - the Conservatives have traditionally been Smith supporters; much of Thatcherism was nicked wholesale from Wealth of Nations.

[hiromasaki.livejournal.com]

I believe that I will solve the problem of the overfull server at work by not saving anything new to it today.

Since I have been banned from overtime without prior approval, I never know in advance when I can come in to take the server down to finish installing the larger drives, and I cannot move the data during the day with employees on-site, this is about the most I am capable of doing anyway.

[zenmeisterin.livejournal.com]

One of my Chemistry lecturers in Cambridge had your post title as his email sig file.

That is all.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Sister told it to me as a Chemistry joke which was apparently going round Oxford when she was there. It's a fairly popular one :)

[elbly.livejournal.com]

Oh I don't know... if I fill the kettle to the brim it can take quite a while to boil :o)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Is that a euphamism?

[elbly.livejournal.com]

To you EVERYTHING'S a euphamism

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

F'narr f'narr

[fonnparr.livejournal.com]

I'll be solving the problem of the diminishing radius of the common waggon wheel by researching pterodactyl migration in the 1960s

[applez.livejournal.com]

Do you have a Vulcan disease (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pa%27nar_Syndrome) or something? ;-p

On a serious note: I expect at least half of Africa's development problems would be solved with some gods-damned decent roads. Admittedly, this will probably accelerate HIV transmission, with multiple strains traveling quickly.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

Ah, flawed logic. Magic!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I certainly remember Wagon Wheels being bigger when I was little.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

How true - they need more than roads, mind, but that'd be a good start. Fortunately the Chinese seem to be building them whilst we all sit and twiddle our thumbs.

On a related note, you might be interested in the debate I had with a fellow countryman of your who didn't seem to agree with either you or I here: http://interdictor.livejournal.com/119739.html

[(Anonymous)]

I see you had to resort to taking the piss. Still, according to the 'first to quit is the loser' rule, you win. Go you!

Specifically, go and write an adventure.

[applez.livejournal.com]

That wasn't my comment, but I'm given to agree with it.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I know, I should write an adventure.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I bow down to you for you are truly the king of positive thinking

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Well, it's better than being the Queen of negative thinking!

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

that is indeed true!

huzzah