Hallowe'ens coming, hallowe'ens coming, oo-ee-oo-ee-oo

[davywavy]

The downside of being a successful dynamic entrepreneur is that work sucks all my creativity out of my head and uses it to make me money instead. No bad thing, you might say, but it does leave me feeling somewhat drained and means I don't do a lot of things I used to enjoy - I haven't written a game in over two years (Not since "Things to do in Bognor when you're dead"), I can't remember when I last wrote a cheery satirical song, and it's been over a year - a whole year! - since I last wrote a tale of ukmonty's drunken and debauched antics.
I know, I find this as shocking as you do.

So, to inspire me, I'm going to try and write some short tales o' terror for hallowe'en. I want you lot to give me some possible subjects, and then in a couple of weeks I'll post the results here. Deal?

Comments

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

Allisdair Darling's eyebrows become sentient.

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

Oh, savage American finally explodes and kills neighbors/coworkers/train staff and then boards plane for the US?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Zombies ate my bus pass
Mutant penguins from dimension X
Ken Livingstone and the congestion charge mind control conspiracy
I was a teenage tory werewolf

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

The Green Party get in... with Joe as Prime Minister!

JmC
Aiieeeeee!

[godzuki.livejournal.com]

Sorry you stole the first one from Dr Terribles house of Horrible.

[godzuki.livejournal.com]

Well..not exactly, as in..gordon brown wasnt in it...but silly accented scottish people becoming lizards is.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I was going to write fiction, not truth anyway.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I saw that - he's quite sharp is Bremner.

[dmwcarol.livejournal.com]

Please could you do something cthulesque, with at least a hint of tentacles and strange goings on at a gentlemans club.

Or maybe the sinster truth behind those horribly cheery blue-coats at a holiday camp

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

That's awesome.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to make this work, but it's more 1984 dystopian future horror than actual horror.
I mean, it writes itself:
"Excuse me", said a voice behind me. I twisted round and saw the little camera and speaker which had been mounted next to the toilet bowl.
"Uh?" I said, articulately.
"I think you'll find you haven't used the entirety of that sheet of toilet paper, and so disposing of it is an offense under the Recycling Mandates of 2015. Come on, use it up."
"Hang on", I said, gesturing around my bathroom. "There are some places in a man's house which are sacred you know."
"Actually", replied the machine (and despite it being a computer generated voice I was impressed that the programmers had managed to give it a tone of sancimonious piety), "Actually, since religion was deemed a potentially divisive influence it was banned under the Tolerence Enforcement Act which was passed last night. Now nothing is sacred, by decree."
"But...but...but...so many things could be potentially divisive! Football!"
"All matches shall now be no-score draws, by order to prevent division between supporters of more and less successful teams."
"Even differences in human height can create jealous, division and dissatisfaction!"
"Funny you should mention that. You have been checked into hospital this afternoon to have two inches of bone removed from your legs, to bring you in line with the new Height (Equality) Act."


Like I say - it writes itself.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Brrr. Chilling stuff.

Time to sabotage Joe's career, methinks.

JmC
First among idiots

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

He did that himself - a few years ago, he was dumb enough to say on LJ how he thought that all children should be taken from their parents and raised in state-run camps because that would in some way improve their lives and make things 'fair'.
Needless to say I got a screengrab of this witless nonsense before he took it down, and if it ever looks like he's getting anywhere in politics I'll send it to the Daily mail, which should screw things up for him.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, it would.

As long as 'fair' is defined as 'equal' - which is a misinterpretation common to inadequates. They could have cutesy little almost-uniforms with hoodies & trowsers at half mast, and have organised smoking jamborees.

Do post his rant David, as a warning to others.

[gwaunquest.livejournal.com]

No ones taking this seriously are they? Your creative bent is as straight as a poker and they just faff about politics. Thats just the daily horror we live with.
How about a disgruntled McDonalds worker (who is actually doing his chemistry doctorate) finding a substance he can add to the food which disolves the people who eat it.
Or a serial killer who sucks out eyeballs.
Or a mind reading shape changing bloodsucking alien who impersonates the most feared person in your memory.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I was planning on writing fiction.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Well, the three I've written so far (Lasht Train, The Wining, and I was a teenage Tory werewolf) may - just may, you understand - be slightly tongue in cheek, but I noticed long ago that posting serious things to LJ is futile, so really I've nobody to blame but myself for expecting thoughtful anwers.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Have you read "New Britain: My vision for a young country"? I think you'll find that I wouldn't be writing anything original, no matter how fictional I might make it.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking of "The Stevenage Cuckoos", which also sort of writes itself.

"At nine-thirty last night", said the Professor, "Stevenage suffered an unexplained power outage which lasted all night. Then, this morning, every single woman of childbearing age in the town is pregnant."
"How on earth could you know that?"
"Well, it just stands to reason, doesn't it?"

[reddragdiva]

"Harrison Bergeron" by Kurt Vonnegut.