Survivors

[davywavy]

I made the catastrophic error of watching an episode of the new BBC series of Survivors the other night. I watch little enough television and this series really demonstrates why; by golly, it's badly acted, badly scripted tosh and it isn't helped by having the shockingly bad actress who played the lead in Bonekickers in it.

I've always thought there was a certain amount of wish-fulfilment in post-apocalyptic scenarios; that possibility of removal of the rule of law and all the funky consumer goods there for the taking, so it's disappointing to see that the survivors of some global plague in Survivors can't do better than drive a Land Rover and nick stuff from branches of Netto. Netto! Not even Waitrose. Pah.
If I were one of the few survivors of a global apocalypse, I'd be driving a souped-up dune buggy and wearing nothing more than a hockey mask and a pair of leather trucks quicker than you could say knife.

If you were one of the few survivors, what would you do?

Comments

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't feel the need to drive souped-up hot rods round deserted cities and start your own fuedal state? Wierd.

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

First thing- Gather my chums and crow "See? All these years of dressing for the apocalypse and it's finally here!!!"

Second thing- I'd tool the fuck up. I know how these things go.

Third thing- it's lootin' time, baby!

JmC
At some point I'd probably look into power (generators), water and whatnot but that would come after the lootin'.

[rssefuirosu.livejournal.com]

This is a man with the plan. The plan we all share.

entirely off topic

[ukmonty.livejournal.com]

any particular reason you have apic of you looking chubby in a meatal gimp mask?

Re: entirely off topic

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I was trying to tempt you back to Lj. Worked, I see.

[ephrael.livejournal.com]

It was, as you say, tosh.
Everyone drops dead incredibly suddenly, all together. Thought there are mysterious scientists the the end of episode one, maybe they are trying to find some plausible narrative by distilling blue light.

Should I find myself surviving this specific ultra-flu, I'd be glad there were no zombies, then find somewhere practical to live away from all the idiots in the series.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Surely tracking down and killing the idiots in the series in order to preserve the genetic future of humanity would be a better move?

[belak-krin.livejournal.com]

Flee to a remote location before all the millions of corpses generated a plethora of horrific diseases that I'm not immune to, make sure I have plenty of weapons to fight off the inevitable zombies/mutants/tax collectors and watch out for walking plants.

[calligrafiti.livejournal.com]

I'd stockpile all the chocolate and coffee I could get my hands on in an undisclosed location. Within a year the chocolate and caffeine addicts would make me empress of the formerly United States.

[applez.livejournal.com]

Amusingly, someone had the same notion about whiskey - the value of tradable commodities will increase dramatically.

I suppose holing up in a distillery or brewery is a pretty good community plan in the long-run, if you've the skillz (and local water & grain) to churn out new product.

[lexx-uk.livejournal.com]

Find the football and work of years of built up stress...........

Become emperor of the new order because I have the football............

Re-built Arsenal FC..........Got to have something to do at the weekends :)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

So, like "The postman", but with footy?

[song-of-copper.livejournal.com]

I'd do my looting at the Library, methinks. With no electricity etc. I could no longer rely on the internet to answer all the dumb questions that occur to me on an hourly basis... Yep, I'd head for the section with all the Ray Mears books and gen up on Survival. ;-) (I loathe Ray Mears, but still...)

Then I'd probably hole up in one of the really fancy but still fairly untouched Victorian houses round here. Anywhere with working fireplaces and a solid fuel Aga... (no gas any more, y'see...)

I would also find myself a large dog, for the purposes of making me feel safe!

Er, and that's it, really. World domination/becoming dictator not my strong point...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That's okay, once I've got the Glorious Republic of Davidovia up and running, you can join the harem.

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

I'd find a castle, and start up my own pseudo-medieval fantasy kingdom.

I actually have a list of properties, just in case of such an eventuality.

[quisalan.livejournal.com]

I worked out some time back which Oxford College it would be best to hole up in if there was a Zombie invasion.

Oxford colleges are awesome as they are built like castles, full with solid wooden foot thick doors, exterior walls and battlements, and interior gardens you could grow vegetables in....

Could live for years there without risk!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me too. I also have a Zombie Apocalypse plan, just in case.

[sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com]

If you were one of the few survivors, what would you do?

Explain to you the benefits of wearing cloathing.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

What might those be?

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

I would travel the wastes, clad in a yellow-blue spandex uniform and extremely unlikely and retro-looking battle armour. Followed by a motley crew of deadpan snarkers, leather-clad killers and a dog, I would stumble on shantytowns where random strangers would ask me to fix things for them, help them with their daily chores, or fetch stuff from dangerous locations. By bartering for supplies and growing accustomed to my new existence, I would slowly gather superior armament and eventually seek out and kill the mutant master of that future world under orders from a guy sitting in an immobile UFO.

No, wait, that was Fallout. Damn. I suppose I'd die from radiation sickness.

[silver-blue.livejournal.com]

Instead of acting like I was in The Archers, I think I'd head to somewhere a bit more remote and defensible, and get myself a bloody gun.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

One of the things that I wondered about Survivors was the lack of firearms; surely any normal person would be raiding the nearest barracks at the first opportunity?

[applez.livejournal.com]

I'd be driving a souped-up dune buggy and wearing nothing more than a hockey mask and a pair of leather trucks quicker than you could say knife.

So what does "Lord Humungous" sound like with a sniffle and a shiver from riding in nothing more than a hockey mask and a pair of leather trucks in a souped-up dune buggy all around Old Blightey all day/night? ;-)

I'm amused by the idea that "Lord Humungous" implores tea store defenders to "just walk away."

---

Btw, did you ever see NZ's Battletruck (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084887/)?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Of course I saw battletruck! It was a toshy sci-fi actioner made in the 1980's! That'd be one of my specialist subjects on Mastermind.

Magnus Magnussen: "How many litres of fuel did the dump contain in 'Battletruck'?"
Me: "Fifty Thousand."

[lapinenoireuk.livejournal.com]

Make for either the South West or the Isle of Wight #

Probably shack up in something like a manor house or an agricultural college http://www.bicton.ac.uk/ or http://www.cornwall.ac.uk/duchy/index.php?sitesig=duchy2008&page=_Home.

Grab useful books, food, drink (you might already have guessed that part) and all the firepower I can lay my paws on. Even if I can't see a use for it immediately - well it stops you using it against me at some point in the future {grin}

Otherwise probably go babbling mad and start to hunt down and kill the remaining bipeds {grin}

********************************

#(Unlike the BBC I think that the fact that we are faced with "the end of the world as we know it" is not a big enough reason to go to and set up shop in Yorkshire - life would be way dismal enough already)

## Unless, of course, I was leading my heavily armed harem to "burn & sack" the said godless parts of the "Norf" {bigagrin}

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Yorkshire is God's own kingdom. We produced Geoffrey Boycott!
Bring it on.

[morgan303.livejournal.com]

If you were one of the few survivors, what would you do?

Feel vaguely smug, this being the one event I could comfortably know that I was appropriately dressed for.

Following that I'd like to think that I'd gather every antique in the general vicinity into the biggest ornamentally-decrepit mansion I could find, and carve out some sort of decadent stronghold full of books, art, and fabulously ferocious-looking people with modded-up crossbows and pet wolves, styling myself as the gypsy love-child of Sarah Connor and Louis XIV.

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

Just for that plan, I am now officially required to worship your visage set on an altar sprinkled with blood and rose water.

[applez.livejournal.com]

Yes well, after making it there and surfacing to the assless chaps horde, I suspect "Lord Humungous" would probably insist you take that pill. ;-)