Homeopathic love.

[davywavy]

As part of her dental treatment, the she-David was recently given some tablets by her dentist. Nothing unusual in that, you might suppose, until I looked at the box and realised that it says "Homeopathic Medicine" on it.

"David", she asked me. "What does Homepathic mean?"
"It means it doesn't work", I replied.

Now far be it for me to criticise the miracle which is Homeopathy. I might be completely wrong on the subject. Maybe it does actually work. But I've got to admit I can't take seriously any medical product made by a company called "Lab O' Life.". A quick glance at the 'active ingredients' mention all kinds of impressive-sounding medical thingies like Bone Morphogenetic Protein and Tumour Necrosis Factor Alpha, which are, google appears to tell me, real medicines. What the list of active ingredients doesn't mention is either sugar or water, which will make up significantly more of the preparation.

And by 'significantly more', I mean 'all'.

If the medicines - which, let us not forget, are complex organic molecules whose magic is somehow retained by the memory of water - are actually effective, I can't help but feel it might make sense to give the patient more of them than none at all.

However, always one to look on the bright side, I found myself reading my way through the instructions (including what to do if you take an overdose, which I found unexpectedly hilarious) which were in six languages and it really struck me just how much the pronounciation of a language leads you to thinking what it means. Take, for example: Although in principle the amount of lactose in the capsules is insufficient to cause symptoms of intolerance*, you should consult your doctor if you experience diarrhea**. Now, in English that's a fairly straightforward bit of instruction, you'd think. But switching to French I leaned forward and whispered Bien ce al quantite presente dans les gelules soit theoriquement insuffisante pour declencher les symptomes d'intolerance, en cas d'apparition he diarrhees votre medicin into my grilfriends ear in my best Voice of Lurve^tm, and she had one of her turns.

It's odd how saying something so prosaic in another language can make it sound so different and meaningful, so long as they other person doesn't understand what it is you're on about. No wonder the French has a reputation of the language of amour. If a warning about a squirty bottom can have that effect, well, just imagine what might be achieved by someone who actually spoke the lingo. I should have listened at school.

Anyway, I'm off to try another experiment. I'm going to try to arrange an invasion of somewhere by shouting Bei Kinderen und Heranwachsenden sind Intolleranzercheinungen aufgetreten obwolh die Menge, die dieses Praparat enhalt, generall nicht ausreichend ist, um Intolleranzsymptome zu verursachen; fragen Sie Ihren Arzt falls Durchfallsymptome auftreten as loudly as I can.

It certainly sounds the part, as my neighbours can attest.



^{*No kidding
**No kidding}

Comments

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

If the quality of the translation is any indication of the quality of the product, I'd stay far away from it. :P

ETA: Just had a look at the Labolife website and it has this disclaimer at the bottom of the German page:
"Bei der Mikroimmuntherapie handelt es sich um ein komplementäres Verfahren. Sie weicht daher von den konventionellen Verfahren ab und hat einen anderen Therapieansatz. Die Wirksamkeit ist durch die Schulmedizin nicht anerkannt"

roughly:
micro immune therapy is a complementary treatment and therefore diverges from conventional treatments and has a different approach to therapy. Its effectiveness is disputed by conventional medicine."

[supermouse.livejournal.com]

Has anyone ever pointed you at Ben Goldacre or Tim Minchin? The latter especially is rather amusing on the subject.

[blue-cat.livejournal.com]

Homeopathic (as opposed to herbal) medicine is placebo in a box.

Placebo's do work. but then so can plain sugar, packaged & presented correctly :)

[elbly.livejournal.com]

Can't really comment on the treatment She David was given, however it has been demonstrated (apparently) that even medicine known to be effective ceases to be effective if the patient believes it won't work (placebo in reverse so to speak). Therefore, even if the homoeopathic stuff was going to be effective, telling her it won't work removes pretty much any chance of it doing so.

[raggedhalo.livejournal.com]

Have you seen the Mitchell & Webb sketch "homeopathic A&E"? Well worth a giggle.

[(Anonymous)]

On to homeopathy around 1.30....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMvMb90hem8