Medical Experiments

[davywavy]

Back when I was a student, there was an organisation in town which carried out human tests on medical advances and a popular way of raising some more money after you'd spent your termly pittance on booze was to sign up to be experimented on. Kinda like being the human equivalent of a rabbit with shampoo in its eyes or a beagle with a fag on.
I never did it myself, but a couple of my friends did. Both described in painful detail the distressingly invasive physical examination they had to go through to sign up, and then they were put on different courses.
The first was testing a new flu treatment, which involved him getting the disease. It turned out he was on the placebo group so basically he was paid several hundred quid to have a stinking cold for a week or so, which didn't seem so bad. The second was less lucky. As part of tests on a new treatment, they gave him crabs.

This rather put a damper on his relationship with his girlfriend for a while.

Anyway, there was a persistent rumour that one thing you could sign up to was - for £10,000 - to have one of your toes amputated and then sewn back on as practice for microsurgery techniques. I've no idea if this was apocryphal or not - the older I get the more likely I reckon it was - but it was a subject of considerable debate after a few drinks in the SU bar. Would you do it? What if it went wrong? Which toe? How much would they have to offer to sever a finger, or other bits?

So, as it's Friday and none of you are doing any work, the question for today is: What medical experiments would you be willing to have performed on you, and how much would they have to offer?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

The second was less lucky

"But look here darling, honest, I did it for a scientific experiment ... Ow"

H

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

"This is like that time you said you got VD off a toilet seat!"

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

A few jobs ago, I worked for a company that produced all sorts of medical test equipment. I used to provide samples of various body substances on a regular basis - blood, saliva, and so on. Nothing invasive beyond a little needle, and I'd get paid between a fiver and a tenner for it.
I used to get used as a test subject for the psychology department in college. I dread to think what effect that had on their results, if they were treating me as a "normal" base-line. That paid a quid a go, usually.
For anything further, I think I'd limit myself to testing cures for something that was actually wrong with me, where the results are ilkely to be either helpful, or neutral. Yes, I'm boring and risk-averse (and not that skint).
Then again, do you count "does this diet system work?" as a medical experiment? If so, I'm usually willing unless it looks completely insane, and I pay them.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I was the psychology tester at university, and I wouldn't worry about the results you gave because from experience the tests are pretty worthless anyway :/

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

I'd need to do a bit of research into whether there is a toe that can safely be removed without affecting your walking ability, but if there is one, hell yeah I'd do it! Some of my toes are a bit fucked anyway after a motorbike accident in the 90s, and £10,000 is a lot of money! You don't see your feet most of the time anyway... Wouldn't have a finger removed though.

[(Anonymous)]

The main worry is contracting gangrene in your foot while they're doing it

H

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

While they're doing the amputation, or while it's healing?

[(Anonymous)]

Either, I guess

H

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Hmm, perhaps I'd better cancel this hypothetical amputation then...

[blue-cat.livejournal.com]

Toe amputation is an urban legend. It would be medically unethical to do it, and against the geneva convention, ICH / GCP etc :)

I would happily join a clinical trial to investigate a variety of things, less so if it was phase 1 (first in man) if primarily for the sheer inconvinence of being overnight in a hospital (probably). Phase 2/3/4 for 'medication to treat something you have', sure :)

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

I've worked in medicine since 1996 and no, just no. Nothing remotely clinical! I have a friend doing his PhD who was trying to get people to undergo bronchoscopy with lavage for £300 (which included several days of evaluation, plus the procedure and follow-up). No way, Jose!
Psychology experiments maaaaaaaybe, but then again, I know psychologists so maybe not!

I *would* be amenable to clinical trials, should I become proper ill, because in those circumstances, you don't have a lot to lose. But not for remuneration, just as an alternative treatment option. Maybe Phase 1, but I'd be less amenable in general.

I am happy for people to have all of my organs when I am dead, but I'm not willing to potentially screw up my already screwy health even further for less than a year's wages.

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

Agreed!