10 things I learned from the film "Underworld"

[davywavy]

1) Anyone not wearing a coat in the rain is a Werewolf.
2) Pistols with an 11 round magazine have a 'fully automatic' setting and are capable of firing in excess of 50 shots without reloading.
3) Werewolf semen is so powerful it can get the undead up the duff.
4) Contrary to my personal experience, the average female vampire is not a stove.
5) Corsetry, PVC trousers, and heels are practical fighting clothes.
6) The werewolf idea of 'floor' is shaky at best.
7) All vampires live in the same house and watch each other on security cameras, a bit like Big Brother but without Jade Goody.
8) Keith Richards sleeps under the floor in the vampire mansion.
9) The effete villain has the same haircut as ukmonty, and I think this tells us a lot.
10) Coherent plot and understandable motivations play second fiddle to leather trousers.

Comments

[arralethe.livejournal.com]

Given the amount of time you spend around White Wolf role-players, goths and watching films, how is it possible that the facts above were not already self-evident truths?

PS Keith Richards has been a vampire for *ages*

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

1) Anyone not wearing a coat in the rain is a Werewolf.

Rain does damage (it's falling from very high up). Werewolves heal damage. Thus anyone in the rain and not spending blood like mad must be a werewolf.

2) Pistols with an 11 round magazine have a 'fully automatic' setting and are capable of firing in excess of 50 shots without reloading.

-Correct. But this only works with MAGIC BULLETS. One with sunlight in them.

3) Werewolf semen is so powerful it can get the undead up the duff.

- Werewolves drink a lot of coffee.

6) The werewolf idea of 'floor' is shaky at best.

- That's cause some other Werewolf has usually peed on it.

7) All vampires live in the same house and watch each other on security cameras, a bit like Big Brother but without Jade Goody.

- All vampires are twisetd exhibitionists, that's why all the tight rubber and PVC.

8) Keith Richards sleeps under the floor in the vampire mansion.

- They are waiting for him to trun to ash so they can smoke them...

9) The effete villain has the same haircut as ukmonty, and I think

- Don't think. Whatever you do, don't think about the hiarcut. TOO LATE!

4) Contrary to my personal experience, the average female vampire is not a stove.

- This is because camarilla STs are not allowed to use the casting couch as a method of handing out MC.

5) Corsetry, PVC trousers, and heels are practical fighting clothes.
this tells us a lot.

- I've never felt so free.

10) Coherent plot and understandable motivations play second fiddle to leather trousers

- You write plot whilst there's no blood reaching the lower half of your body!

sartorial elegance and the grim north

[ukmonty.livejournal.com]

Wade, Dear Boy,

sod off! Jealously is never attractive. And I will point out that you were the one who was always mooning around the goths asking them to be "special chums"! I always thought it was a bit of a teapot fetish really, on your part.

As to the film, ausing but not brillient. I did come out of it thanking all the gods I dont believe in (all of em)that I dont run games anymore though.

re: Keith Richards

[applez.livejournal.com]

Indeed, since the 3rd Age of Mankind at least ... or was that the Age of Aquarius? ;-)

[souldier-blue.livejournal.com]

the average female vampire is not a stove

Is that some kind of northern slang?

Hmmm...

[ksirafai.livejournal.com]

I feel almost misquoted. ;P

Please note, I made most of those points first. ;D

*smug*

;)

Re: Hmmm...

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Simply evdience that not only do great minds think alike but also that you think like me.

Re: Hmmm...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Damn, I'm replying from the wench's account.