davywavy | Space Alien Threat Realised.

Pentagon and NASA officials today announced confirmation of the discovery of a major space alien threat to humanity. Pentagon spokesman General Brad Alexander said: "For years, children have been entertained by streaming film from American and Russian probes on the surface of the Moon which has been broadcast under the guise of a programme called 'The Clangers'. Believed until now to be harmless, peacable, tiny creatures, these 'Clangers' amusing antics were considered perfect entertainment for small children. However, we regret to annouce a major failure in moon-intelligence which, now clarified, indicates that these 'Clangers' are a serious threat to humanity."

The pentagon statement covered several points.
1) That clanger society is a military dictatorship ruled over by the self-styled 'Major Clanger , a tyrannical warlord with expansionist ambitions.
2) That Clangers are vile, ungodly creatures given to incessant swearing
3) That supplies of Moon Soup, controlled by the so-called 'Soup Dragon' are running low, which has led to a major military build up in order to invade the earth for more supplies of this tasty beverage.

General Alexander went on to say; "However, these simple but telling facts about our alien enemies would not in themselves be enough for us to categorise them as a major threat. Clanger Space Technology is in it's infancy and it is expected that their invasion plans will take some time to come to fruition. However, chillingly, there is another, greater threat."

The General then went on to show this picture of 'Tiny Clanger'. "Ladies and gentlemen of the press, observe this, a picture of the smallest member of their race. It look innocent, does it not? But look behind it, and compare the relative curvature of the horizon to the creature before it. For this creature to show such a size relative to the curvature of the moon, we can only estimate that this alien is no less than sixteen hundred miles tall."
US President George W Bush, when told of these facts, is reported to have said "Fuck me, look at the size of that Clanger."

It is estimated should the 'Clangers' stop eating string and instead develop Skipping rope technology, the impact of a skipping Tiny Clanger could knock the moon out of orbit and cause it to crash into the Earth which may seriously damage US interests.
After calling for an immediate nuclear barrage of the Moon, President Bush allegedly signed a contract with Halliburton for the reconstruction and prompt return to operation of the Soup Mines.