&quot;First of all I should say that I agree with davy&quot; - Norman Tebbit.

Shclorp...slurp...pop!

There, better now?

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jonnyargles.livejournal.com

Mmm, taramasalata.

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That's not taramasalata, I just haven't brushed my teeth for a few days.

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cygny.livejournal.com

Huh, I was going to complain about it being too quick but this made me change my mind :-/

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Not interested if you are just offering yourself, but if you could facilitate snogs with a third party that really would be something.

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Set myself up as a snog-broker?

Do I get 10%?

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Besides you, you mean, who are plainly gagging for it?

*FX: note well, I am calling this derogatory comment from behind a sofa*

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You mean 1/10th of the snog? And why not? I'd happily share a little of Michael Portillo's saliva with you.

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I'm only gagging for it from *attractive* girls, dear.

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I don't believe my genitals will ever work again.

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My god, you mean you've changed the habit of a lifetime of getting it wherever it's offered? I'm amazed you can afford to up your standards at your age.

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I always knew my past would come back to haunt me.

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That is generally the fate of the obselete.

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That's not what Monsieur Poirot tells me...

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No, haunting is when I'm dead and vindictive. While I'm alive and amused, it's called stalking.

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His detective powers are over-rated.

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You have nothing on my other stalkers. Except the bravery to sign your name.

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Actually, I'm so bored at the moment, I've taken up stalking your stalkers too.

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Really?

Fly my Vicky Minions!

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Hmmm, I never believed until this moment that men really did try to herd cats.

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Only after spaying them for the good of humanity.

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*Slight hum as the cloning vats come online*

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That's okay, we've increased the alcohol content of the anmiotic fluids. After ushering monty from the building, obviously. I don't suppose you'd like to share a vat with Monty wearing nothing but speedos and goggles.

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Depends where he's wearing the goggles, imo.

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puddingcat.livejournal.com

You could always wear the goggles yourself. Might blur the view somewhat :)

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puddingcat.livejournal.com

Now that just makes it sound as if your minions are covered in Vicks. "Ew, my minion's all Vicky! Wht's it been doing?"

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And here we are at this wonderful reason why I generally go by the shortening of my name as "V"....

Either that or David is going to try to take over the world as the Mucus Monster.

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Well, you can rub yourself on my chest any time.

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