Sometimes...
Sep. 13th, 2004 10:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davywavyAt the end of the street on which I live, there is a wall which comes to about chest height on me. A cat sits on the top of the wall seemingly all the time, plainly having learned that it is ideally positioned to catch passers-by and, by turning up the cuteness factor, get some transient affection. I'm usually suckered by this approach and as I was strolling past the other day I saw the cat was there - being petted by a girl in (I'd say) her mid-twenties.
Not being one to pass up the opportunity to strike up conversations with random womenfolk in the street I went up and started to make a fuss of the cat as well, and used the simpering feline as an excuse to say hello.
Within ten seconds I knew, instictively, that I wanted nothing to do with this woman.
I can't say what it was, but there was something that all my instincts rebelled against; something about her expression, her posture, what she said? All three? Something else? I couldn't tell you, but I just knew that I didn't want to talk to her. Instead I wanted to rudely turn and walk briskly away.
Naturally I didn't - I politely chatted for a few moments before bidding her good-day and wandering off. But I watched my reflection in the windows I passed, just to make sure she wasn't following me. She was that disconcerting.
What is it that tells us these things? What sends these messages to our brains when we meet other people? Why is it some people just seem to us to be people we can talk to and even trust on short acquaintance, whilst with some others all our nerves scream at us to make for the hills?
Of course, it's subliminals. Cues which we can't even consciously recognise from the other person but our hind-brain monkey, evolved to survive environments where getting it wrong about the intentions of others meant almost certain death sees the cues - and reacts to them.
Modern society is forcing us to supress these instincts, but it's very telling just how often people will say that they 'just knew' there was something odd about old so-and-so, just as the police show up to cart them off and dig up the fifty gallon drums in the garden. Most of the time we're inclinded to think that these claims are spurious, after the fact rationalisation but it's true that, at some level, we can tell when something is up.
I really must start to listen to my instinctive reactions more. I think they have a lot to tell me.
Not being one to pass up the opportunity to strike up conversations with random womenfolk in the street I went up and started to make a fuss of the cat as well, and used the simpering feline as an excuse to say hello.
Within ten seconds I knew, instictively, that I wanted nothing to do with this woman.
I can't say what it was, but there was something that all my instincts rebelled against; something about her expression, her posture, what she said? All three? Something else? I couldn't tell you, but I just knew that I didn't want to talk to her. Instead I wanted to rudely turn and walk briskly away.
Naturally I didn't - I politely chatted for a few moments before bidding her good-day and wandering off. But I watched my reflection in the windows I passed, just to make sure she wasn't following me. She was that disconcerting.
What is it that tells us these things? What sends these messages to our brains when we meet other people? Why is it some people just seem to us to be people we can talk to and even trust on short acquaintance, whilst with some others all our nerves scream at us to make for the hills?
Of course, it's subliminals. Cues which we can't even consciously recognise from the other person but our hind-brain monkey, evolved to survive environments where getting it wrong about the intentions of others meant almost certain death sees the cues - and reacts to them.
Modern society is forcing us to supress these instincts, but it's very telling just how often people will say that they 'just knew' there was something odd about old so-and-so, just as the police show up to cart them off and dig up the fifty gallon drums in the garden. Most of the time we're inclinded to think that these claims are spurious, after the fact rationalisation but it's true that, at some level, we can tell when something is up.
I really must start to listen to my instinctive reactions more. I think they have a lot to tell me.
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Trust uyo
Date: 2004-09-13 03:36 pm (UTC)I told Johnnie how I felt and he was irritated. He thought I found the guy sexually threatening and kept saying that I was wide of the mark and being ridiuclous (what he wouldn't say is that the guy was gay so could be no threat to me).
We had a major row about it and I got so upset that in the end Johnnie burnt the slip of paper with the bloke's name and phone number on it to calm me down because i din't want him to have anything to do with someone that gave me the fear.
The guy's name was Dennis Nilsen.
Re: Trust your instincts
Date: 2004-09-13 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 12:17 am (UTC)I try to follow my instincts nowadays as much as possible, they rearely let me down
Re: Trust uyo
Date: 2004-09-14 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:42 am (UTC)I think people sometimes think you are a tad on the arrogant side but from what i can gather you deliberately cultivate that impression and arrogance doesn't usually make people think its a really bad idea to be around you
Re: Trust uyo
Date: 2004-09-14 01:48 am (UTC)You'll be receiving the injunction later today.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:54 am (UTC)I would love to see your Barney impression
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:57 am (UTC)So which are you?
arrogant or bashful?
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 02:03 am (UTC)I wish I had been there, it sounds very amusing
Can't you go to the South East regional, play a demon and re enact it all?
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 02:12 am (UTC)Manchester round me mam's house? (I think she would be very amused)
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 03:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 03:07 am (UTC)I wish there were, as you say, some way to discriminate. far too often my initial feeling has been proven right, or mostly right, but it's very rare that I have the undeniable rection that I got from this girl.
I have to wonder if I was right about her - and if so, what her problem is?
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 03:38 am (UTC)Did she have a 'I boil men pets for fun' t-shirt on?
Maybe there was something really obvious that you aren't seeing because you are concentrating on the big picture
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 03:40 am (UTC)