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[personal profile] davywavy
Strolling through the centre of Stevenage is always a depressing experience, especially for someone like me who doesn't think that Burberry is the dernier cru of fashion.* It's a grim place, possibly the best exemplar (other than Mexborough) of how people can be created by their crushing, stultifying environment. The town centre of Stevenage was designed to be a glorious hymn to the possibilities of pre-stressed concrete back in the 1960's; a pleasant place to live brought to us by that post-Stalinite Socialist period of architecture when privately-educated and publically-employed lefty architects thought that what the people really wanted was large expanses of concrete, high rise tower blocks with lots of dark corners, and above all nothing to do all day except sit in the main shopping precinct waiting for Margaret Thatcher to come along and actually give them something to buy. Like I say, it's a depressing place.
Whilst belittling epithets like 'pram-face' and 'chav' are derogatory and probably do as much to compound social inequality as much as any amount of well-intentioned post-industrial Concrete ever will, it's a place where you can walk and understand why these terms ever came to exist.
I was wandering down the main shopping precinct at lunchtime, enjoying as much as the surroundings allowed me the feeling of the increasingly crisp, wintry sunshine, when I came across one of those eco-friendly pest controllers that councils hire - a man with a Harris Hawk on his arm pointing it at pigeons and setting it upon them.
Of course, there's not a worse time to carry out such an operation. It's lunchtime and the shops and pubs are open, and so the locals were surging past him with nary a sideways glance and scattering the pigeons whenever one alighted for long enough to make an enticing target. It's odd that a man in a town centre with a bird of prey on his arm can attract so little attention, but nobody except me even appeared to have noticed him as the locals thundered past, their tracksuit-hungry eyes fixed upon the entrance to JD Sport.
I was briefly entranced. The bird was completely unruffled by the constant comings and goings and just glared about, as if sizing up every teenager as potential prey. As I watched I couldn't help but think how much my day would have been improved if the pest controller had brought with him something bigger, like a bald eagle trained to attack upon sight of Burberry Check and nylon. Enlivened by the thought of one of the spotty, surly, teenagers who infest the centre of Stevenage trying to look intimidating but just managing to look like spotty, surly teenagers being carried away and devoured by an eagle, I returned to the office in a sunnier frame of mind.
Occasionally I glance out of the window on the off chance that an enormous bird of prey with a bundle of something that looks like bloodied Burberry in its talons might swoop past. I've been disappointed so far, but the day isn't over yet.

* "Whatcha fuckin' dressed like that for?"

Sounds like a plan

Date: 2004-10-26 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ketchgirl.livejournal.com
if the pest controller had brought with him something bigger, like a bald eagle trained to attack upon sight of Burberry Check and nylon. Enlivened by the thought of one of the spotty, surly, teenagers who infest the centre of Stevenage trying to look intimidating but just managing to look like spotty, surly teenagers being carried away and devoured by aan eagle

Hehe! I like! ;)

Date: 2004-10-26 06:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlett.livejournal.com
yesterday i saw a chav in a tracksuit moseying on up romford high st. the back of the tracksuit had a large number 7 emblazoned on it. above this, where the name of the footballer goes, it said "Pikey".
Brilliant.
(Although i would admit that i know very little about football players and if there is indeed such a player as Mr pikey i'm sure someone will enlighten me!)

Date: 2004-10-26 07:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosamicula.livejournal.com
Oooh you just said 'Romford High St'. I've had a fit of the vapours now. I used to work in Romford. Not pleasant.

Date: 2004-10-26 07:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlett.livejournal.com
LOL
i work and live in romford! tho i'm from the midlands originally - don't ask, it's a long story
its ok in the day it's just after dark it seems to be a no go area!
where did you used to work?

Date: 2004-10-26 08:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosamicula.livejournal.com
I used to lecture at Barking College on Dagenham Rd.

I have been known to drink in the Goose, and Yeats Wine Lodge... Friday nights in Romford.

That was from 2000 - 2003, but I worked in Stratford and Ilford between 88 and 91.

And I was raised in Essex

Date: 2004-10-26 08:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlett.livejournal.com
Nice. i was talking to my beloved about seeing if they had any good night courses at barking college to further our horizons, we thought it could be useful and educational - as soon as we sobered up of course we have been too embarrassed to admit that this conversation ever took place and have expanded our collection of dvds to ensure that a repetition does not take place.

i work within staggering distance from the goose (our firm's lunchtime destination of choice)on the corner of victoria road.

Date: 2004-10-26 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosamicula.livejournal.com
Just don't do a counselling course. The ocunselling lecturer is a complete nutter.

Ah the goose. The glory, the glamour.

Date: 2004-10-26 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlett.livejournal.com
and the cheap beer of course! bastards have just flogged their carpark tho so we now have to park in hollywoods
:(

Date: 2004-10-26 08:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlett.livejournal.com
I shall do you a favour and pretend the small print at the bottom does not exist. i shall also not mention white stilettos
(oops)

Date: 2004-10-26 09:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosamicula.livejournal.com
My life was saved by a white stiletto boot!

I would have been on the Northern line platform at King's Cross when the fire took hold, had I not broken the metal tip off my stilleto and made a detour to get it fixed.

Date: 2004-10-26 09:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlett.livejournal.com
seriously?
wow that's amazing.
i wasat a conference last month and the guy sat next to me was telling me that he had decided to take a different train home at the last minute and the one he had avoided was involved in a terrible crash.

Date: 2004-10-26 09:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosamicula.livejournal.com
It is true.

I fell over when I broke my heel, and a rather sweet middleaged man, helped me up and asked if I was okay. I assured him I was and we went on our ways. 2 days later his picture was in the paper with those of other victims, poor bugger.

Date: 2004-10-26 10:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlett.livejournal.com
you may have been the last person he had a conversation with!
wow that's really spooky

Date: 2004-10-26 10:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlett.livejournal.com
i think any studying courses not prescribed by job are very unlikely unless they involve watching tv and... well that's it really.

Ahem

Date: 2004-10-26 07:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosamicula.livejournal.com
*takes bow* ;)

Re: Ahem

Date: 2004-10-26 07:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Personally, I'm rather proud of the phrase 'tracksuit-hungry eyes'.

Re: Ahem

Date: 2004-10-26 08:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosamicula.livejournal.com
As you should be.

Date: 2004-10-26 08:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] student-heaven.livejournal.com
Oh, now THAT's what every town centre needs. What a good idea.

Date: 2004-10-26 08:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I'm a social progressive, of sorts.

We may be doing a Manchester run next month, if'n yer interested.

Date: 2004-10-26 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] student-heaven.livejournal.com
What date? It'd be nice to have a night out.

Date: 2004-10-26 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Most popular option is curently 3rd weekend, but we're waiting to hear back from [livejournal.com profile] robinbloke about his availability.

Date: 2004-10-26 08:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] student-heaven.livejournal.com
Will check and let you know if I'm around that weekend. Good idea though!

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