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When I was little, every week when I got my pocket money I'd trot off to the corner shop with a coin in my clammy hand to buy some of the additive-packed sweets which were freely available in the 70's. A personal favourite were "Superman" brand sweet cigarettes; little sticks of candy with coloured tips with which you could pretend you were actually smoking, just like Superman. Or something.
Of course, one day someone decided that using Superman on kiddie ciggies was poor branding, especially after he went on record as never saying yes to a cigarette, and so the line was dropped, and sweet cigarettes as a concept went shortly afterwards. Whether or not sweet cigarettes were a gateway drug into actual smoking is another matter, though - when I was about seven I stole a ciggie from someone and it was absolutely revolting, nothing like what the sweeties had promised.
I was thinking about this at breakfast this morning, as I munched contemplatively on my cornflakes. Or rather, I was thinking about alcopops. The thing about booze is that when you're a kid, it tastes pretty vile and then one day as you grow up your tastes change and it becomes yummy instead. At least this is true of traditional forms of booze - beer, wine and spirits. Alcopops throw this out by effectively making booze taste yummy to kids. By adding flavourless grain alcohol from distillate to highly sugared sweet drinks like orange squash or Irn Bru, alcohol suddenly becomes much more acceptable to the juvenile palate.
Of course, the booze companies say that that's not the point at all, but name me anyone who actually believes them and I'll name you someone with an IQ lower than room temperature.
Some would say that the rise in teenage binge drinking which can easily be plotted against a graph of alcopop sales is a bad thing. Me? I just see a marketing opporunity. As society is happy to overlook the development of brands whose purpose to ease kids into drinking, I can't help but feel that the time is about right to start developing the 'Kiddiecig' childrens smoking brand. I'm sure modern technology can invent a form of tobacco which is acceptable to the younger palate and lungs and if child-friendly booze branding is given a nod and a wink by an understanding society, why not ciggies?
I'll be looking for investors. Any takers?
Of course, one day someone decided that using Superman on kiddie ciggies was poor branding, especially after he went on record as never saying yes to a cigarette, and so the line was dropped, and sweet cigarettes as a concept went shortly afterwards. Whether or not sweet cigarettes were a gateway drug into actual smoking is another matter, though - when I was about seven I stole a ciggie from someone and it was absolutely revolting, nothing like what the sweeties had promised.
I was thinking about this at breakfast this morning, as I munched contemplatively on my cornflakes. Or rather, I was thinking about alcopops. The thing about booze is that when you're a kid, it tastes pretty vile and then one day as you grow up your tastes change and it becomes yummy instead. At least this is true of traditional forms of booze - beer, wine and spirits. Alcopops throw this out by effectively making booze taste yummy to kids. By adding flavourless grain alcohol from distillate to highly sugared sweet drinks like orange squash or Irn Bru, alcohol suddenly becomes much more acceptable to the juvenile palate.
Of course, the booze companies say that that's not the point at all, but name me anyone who actually believes them and I'll name you someone with an IQ lower than room temperature.
Some would say that the rise in teenage binge drinking which can easily be plotted against a graph of alcopop sales is a bad thing. Me? I just see a marketing opporunity. As society is happy to overlook the development of brands whose purpose to ease kids into drinking, I can't help but feel that the time is about right to start developing the 'Kiddiecig' childrens smoking brand. I'm sure modern technology can invent a form of tobacco which is acceptable to the younger palate and lungs and if child-friendly booze branding is given a nod and a wink by an understanding society, why not ciggies?
I'll be looking for investors. Any takers?
