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My mother has a slightly odd theory for feeding her cat, which is that she'll only give it cat food flavours which the cat might - theoretically - be able to catch for itself. So she's fine with turkey, chicken and cod, for example, but not with beef. I can sort of see the logic behind this until she gets out the tuna flavour, at which point I have to ask how she expects little fluffy to land a 400lb marlin whilst being incapable of bringing down an ox. She just looks shifty and mutters something about cats being very cunning when I ask.
I've known for a long time that cat food manufacturers stuff their products with artificial scents to make their revolting glop more appealing to your pets. This is why when cat food has been left out for a few hours an animal just won't eat it - the fake smell of loveliness has worn off and left just the actual rank stench of mechanically recovered meats behind. What I didn't know is that things have moved on since I last looked into this sort of thing and that now the manufacturers don't just make their food smell nice, they actively make it addictive. This is why when 8 out of 10 owners say their cats prefer brand X, it's because their cats don't actually have much of a choice:
What we hear
You: Good morning tiddles! Did mummy's dumpsy-wumpums sleep well? Did we? Are we hungry? Yes we are, aren't we? Would we like some Kitteenosh?
Cat: Good morning mummy! I love you! I love you so much! And some food? For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!
What cats are actually saying
You: Good morning tiddles! Did mummy's dumpsy-wumpums sleep well? Did we? Are we hungry? Yes we are, aren't we? Would we like some Kitteenosh?
Cat: ohgodohgodohgod give me a FIX I NEED A FIX give me a FIX or i'll CUT you, Bitch ohgodohgod the twitching has started ohgod give me a FIX
I propose a new brand of non-addictive cat food to wean your moggy of the vile dregs of the abbatoir upon which most pets are fed. The first flavour will be 'Cold Turkey'.
For more reasons than one.
I've known for a long time that cat food manufacturers stuff their products with artificial scents to make their revolting glop more appealing to your pets. This is why when cat food has been left out for a few hours an animal just won't eat it - the fake smell of loveliness has worn off and left just the actual rank stench of mechanically recovered meats behind. What I didn't know is that things have moved on since I last looked into this sort of thing and that now the manufacturers don't just make their food smell nice, they actively make it addictive. This is why when 8 out of 10 owners say their cats prefer brand X, it's because their cats don't actually have much of a choice:
What we hear
You: Good morning tiddles! Did mummy's dumpsy-wumpums sleep well? Did we? Are we hungry? Yes we are, aren't we? Would we like some Kitteenosh?
Cat: Good morning mummy! I love you! I love you so much! And some food? For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!
What cats are actually saying
You: Good morning tiddles! Did mummy's dumpsy-wumpums sleep well? Did we? Are we hungry? Yes we are, aren't we? Would we like some Kitteenosh?
Cat: ohgodohgodohgod give me a FIX I NEED A FIX give me a FIX or i'll CUT you, Bitch ohgodohgod the twitching has started ohgod give me a FIX
I propose a new brand of non-addictive cat food to wean your moggy of the vile dregs of the abbatoir upon which most pets are fed. The first flavour will be 'Cold Turkey'.
For more reasons than one.
