If I'd killed you when I first thought of it, I'd be out of prison by now.

Her: Do you fancy going to the cinema?
Me: Sure, but I suspect our tastes in movies may not be exactly...compatible. What do you fancy?
Her: There's "Grow your own"?
Me: What's that?
Her: It's a comedy about allotments.
Me:...
Her: Okay, what do you fancy going to see?
Me: There's the new Fantastic Four film?
Her: Isn't that supposed to be shit?
Me: Yes, utterly, but it does have superheroes punching people through walls so it can't be all bad.
Her: No.
Me: What do you suggest?
Her: There's La Vie en Rose, the Edith Piaf biopic. It's supposed to be really really good?
Me: Does Edith Piaf have a Tommy Gun?
Her: No.
Me: Does Edith Piaf, perchance, have a hockey mask and a chainsaw?
Her: I very much doubt it.
Me: Does Edith Piaf engage in elaborate wire-fu combat against cybernetic assassins?
Her: Definitely not.
Me: Probably not, then.
Her: Tell you what, let's not go to the cinema.