If I'd killed you when I first thought of it, I'd be out of prison by now.

[davywavy]

Her: Do you fancy going to the cinema?
Me: Sure, but I suspect our tastes in movies may not be exactly...compatible. What do you fancy?
Her: There's "Grow your own"?
Me: What's that?
Her: It's a comedy about allotments.
Me:...
Her: Okay, what do you fancy going to see?
Me: There's the new Fantastic Four film?
Her: Isn't that supposed to be shit?
Me: Yes, utterly, but it does have superheroes punching people through walls so it can't be all bad.
Her: No.
Me: What do you suggest?
Her: There's La Vie en Rose, the Edith Piaf biopic. It's supposed to be really really good?
Me: Does Edith Piaf have a Tommy Gun?
Her: No.
Me: Does Edith Piaf, perchance, have a hockey mask and a chainsaw?
Her: I very much doubt it.
Me: Does Edith Piaf engage in elaborate wire-fu combat against cybernetic assassins?
Her: Definitely not.
Me: Probably not, then.
Her: Tell you what, let's not go to the cinema.

Comments

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

It's a comedy about allotments.

I find this incredibly distressing.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

It probably has sheds in it as well.

Sheds are evil.

They lurk around corners and whisper about your choice of socks.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_grimtales_/]

It seems redundant, allotments are already funny.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I don't think long term enough.

[fonnparr.livejournal.com]

If you _had_ gone to see the new Fantastic Four movie then you would probably be on here be writing about how much you wish you hadn't.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Damn straight - at least I'd've got something out of it.

[fonnparr.livejournal.com]

I know of a couple who will go to the cinema together, watch separate movies then meet up again afterwards.

[(Anonymous)]

Ocean's 13! It's got gangsters 'n' things for you male types, plus George Clooney for the chicks ... basically a win-win situation

H

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I forgot about that. The reviews say it doesn't suck anything like as much as Oceans 12.

[applez.livejournal.com]

Good thing you dodged the Edith Piaf bullet. Classically dark depressing French film sure to convince her ALL MEN ARE EVIL.